IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both news and give your opinion.

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There are perspectives controversial heating up a debate over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 in
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 aspects of the country.
While
Linking Words
 some hold a strong view that the authorities had better
to
Remove the marker
apply
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spend more
money
Use synonyms
 caring about the elderly
people
Use synonyms
, the opposite makes a statement that they should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more
money
Use synonyms
 on the
education
Use synonyms
 of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
.
While
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 each has its own perks, it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, taking care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 health of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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elderly
people
Use synonyms
 is one of the important things in the developing world. The field of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medicine in every country is a backbone industry.
The old
Correct article usage
Old
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people
Use synonyms
 are easily infected when the pandemic
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
. Canada can be cited as
an
Correct article usage
apply
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outstanding for that, the government cover all the
fees
Use synonyms
 of
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
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 system for citizens
is
Correct your spelling
if
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 they work in a company.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when their parents have health issues,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to pay the
fees
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the authorities ought to invest more
money
Use synonyms
 in order to care
about
Change preposition
for
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 the elderly which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 citizens feel
fulfill
Replace the word
fulfilled
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the redeeming features of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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looking after
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old
people
Use synonyms
 are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
 are enorge. The
education
Use synonyms
 system where is a place
people
Use synonyms
 can learn myriads of
knowledged
Correct your spelling
knowledge
show examples
. That can help
people
Use synonyms
 become a
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
For example
Linking Words
, Germany is a nation which
cover
Change the verb form
covers
show examples
 the
education
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 for all its dwellers. The parents do not need to pay the
fees
Use synonyms
 until their children
eighteen
Add a missing verb
are eighteen
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 years old.
Thus
Linking Words
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 more
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
education
Use synonyms
 system is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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indispensable
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
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 in every country.
To sum up
Linking Words
, caring about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 able to bring a steady stream of benefits but
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help the future of a nation exponentially increase.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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