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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawabacks?

#numbers #students #study #trend #benefit #countries #drawabacks
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The phenomenon of
increasing
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an increasing
the increasing
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 number of
students
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want
Wrong verb form
wanting
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 to study in other
countries
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 has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as
people
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's views on
this
Linking Words
 issue in question may be, I personally believe that more
people
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intent
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intend
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 to study
aborad
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abroad
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 more advantages will
be return
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be returned
be returning
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 to them and
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countries
Correct pronoun usage
their countries
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 and the disadvantages will be outweighed. Regarding the disadvantages of many
students
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tend
Correct pronoun usage
who tend
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 to learn at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foreign schools, probably the most serious drawback is that
people
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 will stay and
developer
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develop
show examples
 their
career
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careers
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foregin
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foreign
countries
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 after graduating from school.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
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 may get
attach
Wrong verb form
attached
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by
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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foreign culture. So, some of them may
concider
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consider
the
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apply
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immigration, which in turn
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the labour and talent of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 home
countries
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. Despite the aforementioned disadvantages, I still believe that there are more
beneftis
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benefits
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
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 exceed the drawbacks. Of all the advantages of
this
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 phenomenon, probably the most significant benefit is that
people
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 can bring
the
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apply
show examples
new technologies back to their home
countries
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 after they
finishing
Wrong verb form
finish
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 their education.
For example
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,
students
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 will see many new things during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time
of
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apply
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living in foreign
countries
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 and become to their own experience which combines with their personal philosophy.
Finally
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, they share their experience with their
countries
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the path of their career.
Therefore
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,
people
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 and
countries
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 both receive
benefiits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 from
this
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 situation. Under
this
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 line of thinking, it seems to me that number of
students
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choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
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 to stay in other
countries
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 may be a
lose
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loss
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of
Change preposition
for
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 the
countries
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,
however
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, the new information and technologies they bring back would help their
countries
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development
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develop
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 continuously and maintain their value in the jobs market.
Hence
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, I believe that the benefits would outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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