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Band 5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
Some countries are spending
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 high-speed rail,I believe that the
money
 should go toward upgrading transportation systems that already exist because they have a greater effect economically and
Change preposition
on people
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 daily
lives
. In
this
 case, fast trains can be a key economic in
transportation
Add an article
the transportation
show examples
 sector.
This
 is because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 allow
people
 to travel as much as possible
due to
 lower prices than flights and in a much shorter time than traditional trains, inexpensive travel can encourage
people
 to visit other cities. Injecting vast sums of
money
 into the local
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
However
, I think there might be a little demand for some routes and those unprofitable ones could make it hard for governments to pay off the debt, which could prevent them from investing in other projects to improve the
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
On the other hand
, public transport that already
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
 plays an essential role in
people
’s daily
lives
. Many
people
 use fast trains only occasionally but take
a buses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a bus
buses
show examples
 or
subway
Fix the agreement mistake
subways
show examples
 every day, making them an indispensable part of their daily
lives
.
For example
, the problems with delays and overcrowding in Jakarta subways are resolved,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
 Jakaratans can
arrived
Change the verb form
arrive
show examples
 at work on time in a better mood.
Therefore
, I think improving existing public transport will be worth the
money
. In conclusion, even though building fast train networks might be good for
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the
money
 would be better spent on the improvement of existing public transport systems because they play a more important role in
people
’s everyday
lives
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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