Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #place #restrictions #hours #children #tv #computer #games #time #books

It is always said that parents should encourage children to read

books

rather than

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

and playing

computer

games. I think

this

statement is right , reading

books

has more

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

instead

of watching

. To

beging

Correct your spelling

begin

with, why

people

Add a missing verb

do people

show examples

prefer

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading

Change the form of the verb

read

show examples

books

Change the punctuation

show examples

First of all

and

computer

display spread

altraviolet

Correct your spelling

ultraviolet

rays which

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a dangerous impact on human eyes but on other hand reading

books

not only provide knowledge but

also

Change the article

show examples

ocean of vocabulary words which one can implement throughout writing or speaking and can make

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better communication way.

Secondly

books

provide authentic knowledge which one can not challenge because

verfied

Correct your spelling

verified

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

thus

, people always get

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

information which has not any risk

while

implying in life work.

Moreover

, nowadays, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Add an article

the children

show examples

has become lazy and

eaisly

Correct your spelling

easily

get bored because of using other

technologc

Correct your spelling

technology

technologic

gadgets but

books

will again connect them hardworking lifestyle and may increase their sitting habit which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

very

mecessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

field.

On the other hand

, in

this

era of technology, children have to connect with technological knowledge so

and

computer

games provide them

Add the preposition

with these

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of information and

also

sharp

Replace the word

sharpen

show examples

their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

owing to

difficult

Add an article

the difficult

show examples

level of games. To recapitulate ,

although

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

help

childeren

Correct your spelling

children

sharp

Replace the word

sharpen

show examples

their mental skills

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

books

provide them

verified

Change preposition

with verified

show examples

and

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

information.

Submitted by raiinderdeep on Fri Mar 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

224 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive development
Screen time
Attention span
Academic performance
Physical exercise
Childhood obesity
Language skills
Creativity
Imagination
Empathy
Educational programs
Personal growth
Balanced approach
Interactive games
Media consumption
Self-regulation
Distractions
Technology-enhanced learning

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people view teenager conflicts with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whist others see it something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that conflicts between parents and children are essential in child’s growth development, while others insist that conflicts between them are harmful for their relationship. This essay strongly agrees with the statement with the former position and explains why conflicts between them play a crucial role in the growth.
<4
band
The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in the city in the UK.
The given table depicts the data about sum average of salary and expenditure on meal and outfit of average household over three years in The UK, whilst the pie chart illustrate the five items of outlay that family spent on that items from 2010 to 2013.
4
band
Write about the following topic: In certain countries, the number of people who use bicycles as the main means of transport is decreasing even though it is beneficial both physically and environmentally. What can be the reasons for this change in preference? How can people be encouraged to use bicycles? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, People are more health conscious, so that in some countries, some people are using bicycles as the main transport it is helpful for both physically and enviromentally. The government will be plan two things first is created seprate road for it and second is provided on a remotely location. In this essay, I will discuss both of points and how to encarge people for used bicycles.
5.5
band
Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?
In modern society, health is one of the most important subjects. Many doctors state that people do less physical exercise compared to in the past. Although modern life is one of the reasons for this negative trend, there are some solutions for this.
8.5
band
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue?
In several nations, adolescents are involved in some kind of paid activities. Some experts opine that this phenomenon is not suitable for the future of the children and the others oppose that it is tremendously useful for the actual professional life of the young ones and their families. In the upcoming paragraphs, we are going to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this matter.

Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people view teenager conflicts with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whist others see it something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in the city in the UK.

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this issue?