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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
The graph illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of enquiries
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist in 2011 through 3 different
medium
Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
show examples
 (in person, by letter/email and by telephone) in a period of
six
months
.
Overall
 the graph shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant increase in enquiries submitted in person. It starts from almost 400 and reached the highest level at 1900 approximately in
six
months
.
However
, the
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 submitted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
letter/email have
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decrease from approximately 750 to 700 in just 3
months
 (January to March) and
then
 a drastic change can be seen from march to
may
Capitalize the word
May
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 which is 750 to 370 approximately. It
then
 remains
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in the month of
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
 The
compalint
Correct your spelling
company
 registers through telephone calls were 900 in
january
Change the capitalization
January
show examples
. it
then
 fluctuated and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1000 in
april
Change the capitalization
April
show examples
qand
Correct your spelling
and
finally
 it increased to 1600 in June. Both mediums (telephone and
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
)
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
athe
Correct your spelling
a
 significant increase in
six
months
 in the year 2011.
However
, the
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 registered through the letter/email have been decreased within
six
months
 in the same year
Submitted by syedusama2510 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words six, months with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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