Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town hall rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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New public
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
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and existing ones are all integral parts of a sustainable city or town. I support the idea that a limited budget should be allocated to both of the above-mentioned buildings in an appropriate way. The established or old houses witness the history of an urban area. They are living archives
who are telling
Wrong verb form
that tell
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memorable and exciting stories in the past.
In particular
Linking Words
, when old generations pass away, they are few of the remaining proofs that our hometown has splendid culture, history and customs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a normal local residential community located in the Hongkou district in Shanghai has become a non-intangible cultural heritage because it saved a lot of Jewish people during World War II. Some of the refugees left China after the War, others passed away, and the municipal government refurbished the local houses to commemorate the unforgettable legend during which the heroic citizens in difficulties rescued the Jewish people's lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, newly built libraries or TV towers reflect the vibrance and development of a metropolis. They provide citizens with a friendly living environment. Take Shanghai Pudong Library as an example, it covers a large area with numerous books, magazines and newspapers in both physical and digital versions. The Library is
also
Linking Words
equipped with the most advanced technology,
such
Linking Words
as artificial intelligence(AI) robots. you can search for the books you want and wait for the AI robots to bring the books to your desk. Another example is Shanghai Oriental TV Tower which is as high as over 480 metres. Once a visitor stands on its top, he or she will enjoy a macro view that the existing and old buildings represent the past of the mega-city, and young skyscrapers herald the bright future. What a dynamic and promising metropolis it is! In conclusion, the old and the old
architectures
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architecture
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are two sides of a modern city or town, we should maintain the former and create the latter.
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Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and provides relevant examples to support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for your ideas.
Lexical Resource
Your essay displays a wide range of vocabulary and showcases your ability to express ideas clearly and effectively.
Grammatical Range
Your grammatical range and accuracy are generally good, but there are some instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors that could be improved.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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