In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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These days,one of the most controversial issues around the world is obesity and poor diet in some counties,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead to some health problems.There are many factors that lead to
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this kinds
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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of
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
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lifestyle.In
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some relevant examples and I will give some possible solutions to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
vital issue. It is well-established fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these days
people
Use synonyms
have a more tendency to eat
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
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than
the
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in the
show examples
past times.The main reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because of
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
tight-daily schedules they do not have
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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enough time to prepare
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
hygienic or healthy food, and they
prefer
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toprefer
show examples
eat
ready-meals
Correct your spelling
ready meals
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.
Besides
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,Many
people
Use synonyms
work in office buildings and they sit more than 8 hours in a day and they have no any movement or activities.All
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this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
factors
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned,can harm
people
Use synonyms
physically
as well as
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can lead to some vascular diseases.
Furthermore
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,
high
Correct article usage
the high
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tuition of some clubs have another
further
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reason that
people
Use synonyms
have no inclination to join the club and do exercise To tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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crucial issue,first of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
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duties should not be taken lightly.Because of their power to legislate,they can
also
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do numerous things to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular exercise to reduce the risk of some
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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.They can learn
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
about people
show examples
with some appropriate tv programs and
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
them
how
Change preposition
of how
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important is to be healthy and in shape.
In addition
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,they can install some equipment all around the city or in parks, for free
that
Correct word choice
so that
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all the
people
Use synonyms
access
Add a missing verb
have access
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to use the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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facilities.
To sum up
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,as we know,prevention is better than cure.
government
Add an article
the government
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should supply some facilities for
people
Use synonyms
to encourage them to have more
healthey
Correct your spelling
healthy
lifestyle,meanwhile
people
Use synonyms
should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
even small steps to improve their health.I believe
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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