Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #expectancy #people #workforce

Today's lifestyle promotes geriatric individuals to go to work

due to

excess expenditures on daily huddles requirements. Earlier once they retired from

jobs

Correct pronoun usage

their jobs

show examples

further

life could able to sustain by means of the pension scheme. The below paragraphs have explained with supporting points regarding a present living model. As per the public and private sector policy, by the age of 60

people

should leave

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

and withdraw a provident or a pension fund for upcoming sources. Earlier the expense

ofhouse

Correct your spelling

of house

house

hold appliances, vehicles and other electrical equipment were out of consideration because

people

will do all activities by means of manually .

For example

, using an electric gadget like a refrigerator,

Correct word choice

or a

show examples

washing machine is the most common type of equipment found in 90% of houses.

Due to

excess usage of these applications,

currently

Add a comma

,currently

show examples

the electricity bill has been increasing gradually, simultaneously the government focusing on booming by enhancing prices.

Moreover

, once

people

depended on these devices their physical activity drastically declines

hence

making them suffer more health problems.

While

comparing to centuries ago health fitness is a major concern

according to

studies. As

people

reach retirement life most of the money spend on hospitals for treatment and monthly check-ups.

Hence

, old age

people

find a job for a living or start their own small-scale businesses to get an income

Change preposition

for

show examples

a home.

Additionally

, the cooking gas or petrol price were terribly increasing like now the rate for petrol is 100 rupee per litre which is a big challenge for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

common man.

Hence

, the charge of living is more than years before. In conclusion, the expenditure is comparably more than earlier.

Thus

, I am totally agreeing with the statement that even after retired life

people

must-do jobs.

Submitted by aishwaryarkunnummal on Sat Mar 04 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
workforce
mentorship
mental and physical health
community engagement
rapidly changing work environments
economic stability
age discrimination
workplace adjustments
financial strain
pension systems
diversifying
creativity
problem-solving
retirement norms
flexible working hours
part-time positions

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Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In many cities an increasing number of people don't know their neighbors and they seems no longer develop any sense of community. 1 analysis the main reasons 2 what measures can be taken to improve this?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourist as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?