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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today's lifestyle promotes geriatric individuals to go to work
due to
Linking Words
 excess expenditures on daily huddles requirements. Earlier once they retired from
jobs
Correct pronoun usage
their jobs
show examples
,
further
Linking Words
 life could able to sustain by means of the pension scheme. The below paragraphs have explained with supporting points regarding a present living model. As per the public and private sector policy, by the age of 60
people
Use synonyms
 should leave
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 and withdraw a provident or a pension fund for upcoming sources. Earlier the expense
ofhouse
Correct your spelling
of house
house
 hold appliances, vehicles and other electrical equipment were out of consideration because
people
Use synonyms
 will do all activities by means of manually .
For example
Linking Words
, using an electric gadget like a refrigerator,
a
Correct word choice
or a
show examples
washing machine is the most common type of equipment found in 90% of houses.
Due to
Linking Words
 excess usage of these applications,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
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 the electricity bill has been increasing gradually, simultaneously the government focusing on booming by enhancing prices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, once
people
Use synonyms
 depended on these devices their physical activity drastically declines
hence
Linking Words
 making them suffer more health problems.
While
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 comparing to centuries ago health fitness is a major concern
according to
Linking Words
 studies. As
people
Use synonyms
 reach retirement life most of the money spend on hospitals for treatment and monthly check-ups.
Hence
Linking Words
, old age
people
Use synonyms
 find a job for a living or start their own small-scale businesses to get an income
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a home.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the cooking gas or petrol price were terribly increasing like now the rate for petrol is 100 rupee per litre which is a big challenge for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 common man.
Hence
Linking Words
, the charge of living is more than years before. In conclusion, the expenditure is comparably more than earlier.
Thus
Linking Words
, I am totally agreeing with the statement that even after retired life
people
Use synonyms
 must-do jobs.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • workforce
  • mentorship
  • mental and physical health
  • community engagement
  • rapidly changing work environments
  • economic stability
  • age discrimination
  • workplace adjustments
  • financial strain
  • pension systems
  • diversifying
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • retirement norms
  • flexible working hours
  • part-time positions
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