IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that schoolchildren should be allowed to make decisions about the school rules, while others think that teachers should be responsible for making the rules. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed by some that kids who go to
school
Use synonyms
 ought to be permitted to make decisions about the
school
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rules
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,
while
Linking Words
 others assert that
liability
Correct article usage
the liability
show examples
 of making these
rules
Use synonyms
 should
be belonged
Change to the active voice
belong
have belonged
show examples
 to teachers. Children may create fair regulations about the
school
Use synonyms
rules
Use synonyms
 from their point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 as
Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 can give more reasonable decisions and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can govern the obedience of these
rules
Use synonyms
. On one the hand, allowing schoolchildren to make decisions about the
school
Use synonyms
rules
Use synonyms
 may provide democratic situations for the students. They can discuss
problems
Correct article usage
the problems
show examples
 and benefits
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
 and determine the regulations by themselves. These actions help them to develop their awareness of
responsibilities
Use synonyms
. To illustrate that, they may become more sensible in terms of cleaning and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 of the
school
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, taking
Use synonyms
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 for the
school
Use synonyms
rules
Use synonyms
 may be beneficial for children.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teachers’ management
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
rules
Use synonyms
 may create more concrete results in the
school
Use synonyms
. They can observe problems and flaws
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
school
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 better than the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 thanks to their experiences. They would be better
ruling
Change preposition
at ruling
show examples
 the classes and
measure
Wrong verb form
measuring
show examples
 students’ obedience
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
rules
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
teacher
Add a comma
,teacher
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a right to penalize rule-breakers or reward them for their compliance
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
rules
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be positive that teachers have
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of the making
rules
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. In conclusion, cause and examples can be multiplied with
this
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 discussion.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 possessing
responsibilities
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about
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
rules
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 is beneficial for children’s
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
, in my opinion, these
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 should be owned by teachers
due to
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 their better management and experience.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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