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Band 5.5

Some businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices.Some governments have banned smoking in all public places.do you agree or disagree

#businesses #smoke #cigarettes #offices #governments #places
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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firms,
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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 and companies
Add the comma(s)
, as well as government,
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as well as
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 make restrictions to
smoke
Wrong verb form
smoking
show examples
 in
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 and public amenities respectively.it has become fashionable In the world today to blame smoking.
however
, I
although
Correct word choice
apply
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feel that smoking can be harmful,
but
Correct word choice
and
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 I don't believe it should be forbidden completely.
i
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I
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 would
also
argur
Correct your spelling
argue
argues
 that
people
 should have the right whether they
smoke
 or not Let me deal with the three positive sides of smoking.
Firstly
, smoking certainly helps many
people
 to relax.For some, it even improves concentration.If someone is upset owing to debt or they have
Add an article
an exam
the exam
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exam
Change the noun form
exams
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,
like
Correct pronoun usage
they like
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 to
smoke
 to reduce the pressure or tension.
Secondly
,
governmentz
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 throughout the world make huge profits from taxes on cigarettes.it goes without saying
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that the income could obtain from taxes provide funds which are used for building school, hospital and public places
such
 as parks, gardens and stadiums. Despite these positive
effects
Add a comma
,effects
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 there are lots of negative effects of smoking too.
initially
, smoking has been proven to be too dangerous for health.
in addition
, it can cause many injurious diseases like heart attack,lung cancer and cough.
furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, smoking costs
government
Correct article usage
the government
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million
Correct your spelling
millions
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 of dollars because of the huge amount of
people
 who need treatment in hospitals for problems that
based
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are based
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 on smoking. In short, I think the world be a better place without cigarettes.
however
,
Ithe
Correct your spelling
the
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 decision as to whether
smoke
 or not should be for
people
 to make. I suggest that individuals should not
smoke
 in a room or place where there are
non smokers
Add a hyphen
non-smokers
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 but certainly they should be free to
smoke
elsewhere
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • fire hazards
  • environmental advantages
  • aesthetics
  • non-smokers
  • personal freedom
  • well-being
  • smoking bans
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