IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The subjects and lesson contents are decided by the authorities such as the government. Some people argue thta teachers should make the choice. Do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #lesson #contents #authorities #government #people #thta #teachers #choice
The
government
 has long been the decider of the school curriculum.
However
, an increasing number of people now claim that instructors should
also
 be involved. Personally, I would agree that the majority of teaching materials should be designated by the authorities,
although
 we should not deny the freedom of
teachers
 to adjust the contents within an acceptable range. The standardization of core curriculum given by the
government
 guarantees the equality of
education
 and cultivates talents geared to the needs of the future society. If teenagers from state schools and elite private schools receive different contents in class
while
 the admission assessments of higher
education
 institutes are standardized, the resulting unequal opportunities to
further
 studies will undoubtedly lead to public discontentment about social injustice. Another vital reason for educational uniformity lies in the fact that leaps towards future development formulated by the authorities require young talents with corresponding knowledge and qualities. Taking Chinese society as an example, the guidelines of the
government
 clarify the need for innovative and persevering individuals with expertise in scientific fields
such
 as electronic and aerospace engineering,
thus
students
 mostly attend STEM courses during obligatory
education
.
On the other hand
, there exist certain cases in which the single
education
 system fails to fulfil the potential of all
students
, and
this
 is when
teachers
 are supposed to tailor the lessons for
students
. For those who are physically or intellectually impaired, mentors are expected to offer additional help including more elaborate explanations, in the worst-case scenario, they can even lower the difficulty of the course in accordance with a student’s capability.
In addition
, with the help of online applications and videos,
teachers
 can provide
students
 with more diversified learning methods and experiences. In summary, it is the
government
 that should shoulder the responsibility of setting the standard for the general curriculum, despite minor variations determined by
teachers
.
Submitted by SHUYAN WANG on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • centralized curriculum
  • educational autonomy
  • pedagogical expertise
  • customized instruction
  • rigorous standards
  • syllabus consistency
  • equitable access
  • pedagogical methods
  • innovative teaching
  • curriculum development
  • accountability measures
  • interdisciplinary approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: