Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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some individuals propose that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are better to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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primary
schools
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

when they are younger rather than going to
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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kindergarten.As
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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see,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

impulsive alterings in
fixed
Add an article
the fixed

The noun phrase fixed educational scheme seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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educational
scheme
Fix the agreement mistake
schemes

It seems that scheme may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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can negatively
effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

respectively.The factors
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as lack of time flexibility for
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not appropriate supervising of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become

It seems that the verb becomes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the
majorest
Correct your spelling
major

If you don’t want majorest to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

proofs to not to replace a traditional method.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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prioritising
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
kindergardens
Correct your spelling
kindergartens
kindergarten

If you don’t want kindergardens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

exclusively
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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ages would harm
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

initially
Add a comma
,initially

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase initially. Consider adding a comma.

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the
schools
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had their own timetables which
are remain
Change the verb form
remain

It appears that the form of the verb remain does not work with are in this sentence.

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untouchable
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kindergardens
Correct your spelling
kindergartens

If you don’t want kindergardens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have specific ones.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may find it challenging to distribute their time to work and
taking
Wrong verb form
take

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb taking. Consider changing it.

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care of their child.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
pandemic
Add an article
the pandemic
a pandemic

The noun phrase pandemic situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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situation in 2020
provocated
Correct your spelling
provocative
provoked

If you don’t want provocated to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the closure of literally all types of educational organisations where
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
kindergardens
Correct your spelling
kindergartens
kindergarten

If you don’t want kindergardens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

had been closed off .
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were struggling with
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun timing in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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timing and brought their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to unofficial organisations which
where
Correct your spelling
were

The word where doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
based on school education
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms

It seems that form may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.Eventually,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

misunderstood the given materials
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

realized that it would be much more appropriate to keep their babies at home.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the researchers of specific educational spheres were struggling if calling off
Correct article usage
the kindergarden
show examples
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten

If you don’t want kindergarden to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

system will be beneficial.Being
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested

If you don’t want intrested to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the result they conducted various experiments devoted to nursery
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

schools
Change the noun form
school

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of schools. Consider changing it to singular.

show examples
replacement .
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,in Zarafshan,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

infant
schools
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were closed for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
antibacterial cleaning ,the government school and its teachers were serving as a variant where to keep
education
Add an article
the education

The noun phrase education seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Thereafter
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
interviewing academic teachers,they said that it was extremely difficult to supervise
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as they were not prepared at all. To wrap up,by altering the origin system there is no
anu
Correct your spelling
any

If you don’t want anu to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

guarantee that pupils
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
care takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers

The word care takers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
will benefit

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social skills
  • structured learning environment
  • professional educators
  • developmental needs
  • flexible schedule
  • individual learning pace
  • parental involvement
  • peer learning
  • collaborative skills
  • formal education
  • school routine
  • classroom etiquette
  • basic academic concepts
  • interactive learning
  • developmental milestones
  • cognitive and emotional development
  • play-based learning
  • early childhood education
  • holistic development
  • individualized attention
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