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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs
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Some people assert those who persist in their first career path have more chance to get a desirable life than those who frequent job hoppers,
while
 others disagree. In my opinion, I agree with
this
 statement. More than anything else, people who set a goal in their career path early and keep to it are mostly focused on one field, which can help them to become more
skillful
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skilful
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.
Therefore
, owing to their increased productivity, they are likely to get a pay
rise
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raise
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 or promotion, which enables them to get access to a better platform where they can socialize with other talents
such
 as senior managers of their partners or rivals.
In addition
, these people may probably become an expert in a particular area
due to
 specialization, which earns them respect from society,
thus
 bringing them a sense of achievement. On the flip side, changing jobs frequently can help workers explore their potential.It is common that most graduates do not have a detailed career plan as they do not know what they want to do. By allowing them to attempt a variety of jobs every few years, they are able to find out what they are adept at,
thus
 bringing their potential into full play.
However
, it probably makes them a know-it-all but master of none, which means that they are less likely to be promoted because of a lack of loyalty and unlikely to enjoy higher salaries since they do not possess high-end skill sets. When all is said and done, employees with specializations tend to obtain a more satisfying life than a jack-of-all-trades.
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task response
Provide a clearer stance on the issue and ensure that all parts of the question are addressed.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and use more precise and appropriate language.
grammatical range
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and aim for more accuracy in grammar and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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