The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

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The bar graph gives information about how much consumers spent on different 5 things (cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras) in

France

Use synonyms

and

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in the year 2010 .The units are measured in pound sterling.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

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the government in the

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spent more on cars, books and cameras than in

France

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over the period shown.

However

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, considering computers and perfume,

France

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took the lead in these categories. In 2010,

France

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spent on cars 400000,

while

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the

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took the first position with about 465000. The expenditure on books was 300000 and just more than 400000 in

France

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and the

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, respectively.

Furthermore

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, the

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invested (about 350000) more than twice as high as

France

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On the other hand

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, when it comes to the computer category,

France

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spent (approximately 370000) higher 20000 than the

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Moreover

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, the expenditure on perfume in

France

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made up 200000,

while

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the

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spent a bit less.

Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on Sun Mar 05 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
consumer goods
chart
countries
overall
compare
analyze
categories
consumer spending
trends
proportions
statistics
increase
decrease
significant
notable
remarkable
substantial
considerable
determine
conclude
in conclusion

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Engaging in labor is an essential undertaking for subsistence. Numerous people are overworked and consequently have less time to unwind. The advantages and disadvantages will be discussed in the subsequent paragraph.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Many people work long hour, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?