The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

The bar graph gives information about how much consumers spent on different 5 things (cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras) in

France

and

in the year 2010 .The units are measured in pound sterling.

Overall

it is clear that

the government in the

spent more on cars, books and cameras than in

France

over the period shown.

However

, considering computers and perfume,

France

took the lead in these categories. In 2010,

France

spent on cars 400000,

while

the

took the first position with about 465000. The expenditure on books was 300000 and just more than 400000 in

France

and the

, respectively.

Furthermore

, the

invested (about 350000) more than twice as high as

France

On the other hand

, when it comes to the computer category,

France

spent (approximately 370000) higher 20000 than the

Moreover

, the expenditure on perfume in

France

made up 200000,

while

the

spent a bit less.

Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on Sun Mar 05 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
consumer goods
chart
countries
overall
compare
analyze
categories
consumer spending
trends
proportions
statistics
increase
decrease
significant
notable
remarkable
substantial
considerable
determine
conclude
in conclusion

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The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

creative artists should always be given the freedom express their own ideas (in word, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. there should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

hildren should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

More and more men are taking maternity leave to look after their newborn children. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development?