The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts give some information about the difference
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
the electrical appliances in ownership and how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
time
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
doing housework
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
washing clothes,preparing meals and cleaning in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,the use of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
seemed
increased
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
the most and the
percentage
Use synonyms
of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
with washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
rose the least.From the second chart ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
in 1920,the number of hours of housework every
week
Use synonyms
was the most .And it decreased after 1920. In 1920 ,we can
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
people almost do not use
Add an article
the refrigerator
a refrigerator
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
,but 20 years later ,the user increased sharply.It jumped to 100
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
of households.The
percentage
Use synonyms
of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
with vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
increased from 30
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
to 100,as same as the refrigerator.The
percentage
Use synonyms
of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
with washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
increased slightly from 40
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
to about 65.
It is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of hours of housework every
week
Use synonyms
is in 1920 .And it decreased from 50 per
week
Use synonyms
to about 10 per
week
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yuetongli98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, week with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: