IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The charts give some information about the difference
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
the electrical appliances in ownership and how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 time
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 doing housework
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
washing clothes,preparing meals and cleaning in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
,the use of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 seemed
increased
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
 the most and the
percentage
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 rose the least.From the second chart ,
it is clear that
 in 1920,the number of hours of housework every
week
 was the most .And it decreased after 1920. In 1920 ,we can
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 people almost do not use
Add an article
the refrigerator
a refrigerator
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
,but 20 years later ,the user increased sharply.It jumped to 100
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of households.The
percentage
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 increased from 30
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 to 100,as same as the refrigerator.The
percentage
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 increased slightly from 40
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 to about 65.
It is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of hours of housework every
week
 is in 1920 .And it decreased from 50 per
week
 to about 10 per
week
.
Submitted by yuetongli98 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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