In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In some nations, despite the decreasing rates of serious
crimes
,
people
tend to feel less secure compared to the past. The most obvious causes are previously committed
crimes
and the detailed description of
such
criminal scenes on the
news
, and the most viable solutions are more safety measures in place and detail of any serious case should be banned on the
news
. Sometimes, previously committed
crimes
make
people
feel less protected.
This
is because they still have memories of criminal cases and how they happened in the past.
As a result
, they tend to feel insecure whenever a stranger's presence exists.
Moreover
, watching the
news
which contains detailed cruel acts of criminals
also
leads to unsafe feelings.
That is
to say, If television and other types of
news
media visualize the scene of serious
crimes
too realistically, it will potentially result in destructive mental health, making
people
afraid of going outdoors and worried about what terrible situation could happen to them.
For example
, many studies indicate that several individuals are tendentially anxious about going outside after witnessing
news
of serial murders. A possible solution to
this
issue is putting more safety measures in place in order to help
people
to feel safer.
This
gives
people
a sense of security and a way to protect themselves
as well as
seek help when they are in danger. Another viable solution is regulating and filtering the information published in
news
media. Specifically, choosing what viewers should see helps
people
not meet detrimental information about serious criminal cases that potentially lead to damage to mental health. In many nations, the government orders control of details in murders in order to avoid negative effects on national
people
. In conclusion, previously committed
crimes
and detailed
news
on any serious
crimes
can lead to
people
feeling less safe.
However
,
this
can simply be prevented by putting extra safety measures in place and compelling
news
channels to stop showing comprehensive details of dangerous
crimes
.
Submitted by blastion05 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay showed a structured approach with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good practice for coherence. However, you can enhance your coherence further by more effectively linking your paragraphs using a variety of cohesive devices.
task achievement
You managed to provide a few relevant examples to support your points, which is great. To score even higher, consider including a wider variety of specific, detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments.
task achievement
While your essay addresses the causes and solutions regarding the perception of safety, expanding on these ideas more comprehensively by exploring them in greater depth or discussing more varied viewpoints could provide a more rounded response.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear topic sentence in each paragraph that neatly outlines your argument, which greatly aids in understanding and following your points.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarises your main points and restates your position, which is a strong point for task achievement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • availability heuristic
  • media coverage
  • misinformation
  • urbanization
  • community cohesion
  • justice system
  • economic inequality
  • community policing
  • media literacy
  • surveillance
  • swift justice
  • social cohesion
  • neighborhood watch
  • deterrent
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