In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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In some nations, despite the decreasing rates of serious

crimes

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people

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tend to feel less secure compared to the past. The most obvious causes are previously committed

crimes

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and the detailed description of

such

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criminal scenes on the

news

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, and the most viable solutions are more safety measures in place and detail of any serious case should be banned on the

news

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. Sometimes, previously committed

crimes

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make

people

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feel less protected.

This

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is because they still have memories of criminal cases and how they happened in the past.

As a result

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, they tend to feel insecure whenever a stranger's presence exists.

Moreover

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, watching the

news

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which contains detailed cruel acts of criminals

also

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leads to unsafe feelings.

That is

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to say, If television and other types of

news

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media visualize the scene of serious

crimes

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too realistically, it will potentially result in destructive mental health, making

people

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afraid of going outdoors and worried about what terrible situation could happen to them.

For example

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, many studies indicate that several individuals are tendentially anxious about going outside after witnessing

news

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of serial murders. A possible solution to

this

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issue is putting more safety measures in place in order to help

people

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to feel safer.

This

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gives

people

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a sense of security and a way to protect themselves

as well as

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seek help when they are in danger. Another viable solution is regulating and filtering the information published in

news

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media. Specifically, choosing what viewers should see helps

people

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not meet detrimental information about serious criminal cases that potentially lead to damage to mental health. In many nations, the government orders control of details in murders in order to avoid negative effects on national

people

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. In conclusion, previously committed

crimes

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and detailed

news

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on any serious

crimes

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can lead to

people

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feeling less safe.

However

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this

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can simply be prevented by putting extra safety measures in place and compelling

news

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channels to stop showing comprehensive details of dangerous

crimes

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blastion05Sat Apr 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay showed a structured approach with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good practice for coherence. However, you can enhance your coherence further by more effectively linking your paragraphs using a variety of cohesive devices.

task achievement

You managed to provide a few relevant examples to support your points, which is great. To score even higher, consider including a wider variety of specific, detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the causes and solutions regarding the perception of safety, expanding on these ideas more comprehensively by exploring them in greater depth or discussing more varied viewpoints could provide a more rounded response.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear topic sentence in each paragraph that neatly outlines your argument, which greatly aids in understanding and following your points.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarises your main points and restates your position, which is a strong point for task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

availability heuristic
media coverage
misinformation
urbanization
community cohesion
justice system
economic inequality
community policing
media literacy
surveillance
swift justice
social cohesion
neighborhood watch
deterrent

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In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Your opinion

Million of dollars are spent on space every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good to expliot them. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol these days. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.