Today, TV channels broadcast man’s sport shows more than women’s sport shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal showtime for women’s sport and men’s sport?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that the amount of showtime spent to broadcast male
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
than its
counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
counterparts
show examples
in
this
day and age. In my opinion, I would contend that showtime should be given for both genders’
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
equally on television channels. Without a shadow of a doubt
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, almost all TV producers have a tendency to prioritise men’s
sport
.
This
may be
due to
the fact that showing male
sports
can attract more profits and investments.
For instance
, each Vietnamese men’s football match appeals
millions
Change preposition
to millions
show examples
of spectators and audiences from all over the country to cheer them either at the stadium or through the screen. They
also
gain ample contracts of promotions which are advertised on billboards everywhere in the nation.
Hence
, television producers will earn more revenue when broadcasting male
sports
.
While
the redeeming feature of showing men’s
sport
is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if that of its counterpart is neglected.
Although
male athletes attract huge amounts of profits, the reputation of female
sports
is increasing, which
also
appeals to a wealth of attractions for the time being.
For example
, there are more
sports
for women in numerous well-known competitions
such
as
AFC
Correct article usage
the AFC
show examples
Cup in
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
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which organised female football tournaments.
Thus
, more women’s
sports
should be broadcast on television. In conclusion, it is doubtless to say that male
sports
are more popular and gain a lot of revenue,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
sports
which are played by female athletes should be given equal showtime on the screen.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the topic, yet it could benefit from greater depth in explaining the reasons behind the current broadcasting preferences and offering a more balanced argument for equal showtime. Try to delve deeper into both sides of the argument to enrich your task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear. Still, the flow between ideas and paragraphs can be enhanced. Using a wider range of linking phrases and making sure each paragraph clearly leads into the next could improve the overall cohesion and coherence of your essay.

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