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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Schools should take more responsibility for the health of today’s children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #responsibility #health #today’s #children
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In
today
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's society, there is a growing concern about the
health
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 of
children
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. Some argue that
schools
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 should take more
responsibility
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 for the
health
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 of
today
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's
children
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,
while
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 others believe that
this
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 is the
responsibility
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 of
parents
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.
In my
Change preposition
My
show examples
 opinion, I agree that
schools
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 should take more
responsibility
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 for the
health
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 of
today
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's
children
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, but
parents
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 should
also
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 play a vital role. On the one hand,
schools
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 have a significant influence on the
health
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 of
children
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. They have the opportunity to teach
children
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 about the importance of a healthy lifestyle,
such
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 as eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly.
In addition
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,
schools
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 can provide access to healthy food choices in their cafeterias and vending machines, and offer physical education classes to help students stay active.
Moreover
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,
schools
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 can encourage healthy habits through extracurricular activities,
such
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 as sports teams and after-school clubs.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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also
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 have a
responsibility
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 to ensure the
health
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 of their
children
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. They can teach
children
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 about healthy eating habits at home, and encourage them to participate in physical activities outside of school hours.
Parents
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 can
also
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 set a good example for their
children
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 by leading a healthy lifestyle themselves.
Furthermore
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, they can work
together with
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schools
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 to ensure that their child's school is providing healthy food choices and opportunities for physical activity. In conclusion,
while
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schools
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 should take more
responsibility
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 for the
health
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 of
today
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's
children
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,
parents
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also
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 have an important role to play. By working together,
schools
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 and
parents
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 can ensure that
children
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 develop healthy habits and lead
a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
This
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 can have a positive impact on their physical and mental well-being,
as well as
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 their academic performance.
Submitted by mannmunday9 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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