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Band 5.5

Do the advantages of the government spending their money on college and university fees for students outweigh the disadvantages?

#government #money #college #university #fees #students
Some
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 say that if we let
children
deside
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decide
 the important thing in their lives ,and take their own
choises
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choices
 of every detail
such
 as what to wear or food and clothes will make a society that
think
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thinks
show examples
 only
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 preferences and wishes ,
whereas
 other believe it is
good
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a good
show examples
 idea for
children
 to make their own choices.In my opinion, I strongly believe that
youngs
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young
show examples
 should be free in their
maind
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mind
 to
choice
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choose
show examples
 what
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them more
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
.In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
further
 elaborate
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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.
To Begin
,
children
 nowadays are
intellegent
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intelligent
 because of the new technology ,and
some time
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sometimes
show examples
 they are smarter than their parents.
For example
,
children
 have more fashion sense and they can dress better than older
people
 .
additionally
, they are well known
about
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for
show examples
 entertainment and have their own ways like playing video games ,
while
 older
people
 prefer to
red
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read
show examples
 a book .firthermore,
although
children
 prefer sweet and fast food ,older
people
 are more into healthy food.So
their
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there
show examples
 are big differences between generations ,and
everyone
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every one
show examples
 of them
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 his pest
intrence
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entrance
intense
,and no one should
interfer
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interfere
 with other preferences.
However
, other
people
 say if we give freedom to
children
 to decide every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own
with out
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without
show examples
interferance
Correct your spelling
interference
 from
an adults
Correct the article-noun agreement
adults
an adult
show examples
 like their parents
this
 can make a society of selfish individuals who think about themselves
with out
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without
show examples
cearing
Correct your spelling
caring
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 others. for
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, a group of
children
 who are raised on taking
thier
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their
 own choice ,but when they grow older they address
unprobate
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reprobate
whith out
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without
careing
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caring
carrying
 out to community
traditionals
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traditions
 or religions.,
To conclude
, as
children
 are born in a different
era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras
show examples
, they know about their time better than
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
,so they know what
best
Add a missing verb
is best
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
ON
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, it s true some
people
 think
this
 is wrong and
children
 should be guided ,but
this
 will may make many
mistake
Change to a plural noun
mistakes
show examples
 in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 lives since parents are not
femelar
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familiar
 with the new
roule
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role
 of
modren
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modern
socites
Correct your spelling
societies
.
Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • social equality
  • catalyst
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • investment
  • unemployment
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • oversupply
  • underemployment
  • subsidized
  • devaluation
What to do next:
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