Children are experiencing increasing educational, social and commercial pressures. What are the causes? What measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

It is true that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
cars
and motorcycles cause transportation difficulty in cities.
While
this
is a serious problem, it can be solved by changing public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. The reasons, I believe , are clear . The main reason makes workers
lazy
Add a missing verb
are lazy
show examples
to use public transport and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
time.
Cars
and motors run faster than bicycles and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
. It can go as you want.
Cars
and motors are
high value
Add a hyphen
high-value
show examples
property
Fix the agreement mistake
properties
show examples
so citizens buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to prove rich. It runs too fast and saves time.
Besides
, Fuel costs are not too high. Research shows that with today's average income, people can own a car and easily buy a motorbike.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that the Government must encourage people to take public transport and cycling to work improves health.
Along with
that, open more public transport fee incentives.The manager should open more public bus routes.
For example
,in my country, Vietnam's Government
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
bus tickets and high taxes
petrol
Change preposition
on petrol
show examples
and
cars
.
To sum up
,
it is clear that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
cars
and motorcycles cause transportation difficulty in cities.
Submitted by hihihahahoho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pressures
  • Stress
  • Competition
  • Expectations
  • Peer influence
  • Technology
  • Media
  • Standardization
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Extracurriculars
  • Education reform
  • Financial support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: