IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children are experiencing increasing educational, social and commercial pressures. What are the causes? What measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

#children #pressures #measures
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It is true that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 and motorcycles cause transportation difficulty in cities.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is a serious problem, it can be solved by changing public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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. The reasons, I believe , are clear . The main reason makes workers
lazy
Add a missing verb
are lazy
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 to use public transport and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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 time.
Cars
Use synonyms
 and motors run faster than bicycles and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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. It can go as you want.
Cars
Use synonyms
 and motors are
high value
Add a hyphen
high-value
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property
Fix the agreement mistake
properties
show examples
 so citizens buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to prove rich. It runs too fast and saves time.
Besides
Linking Words
, Fuel costs are not too high. Research shows that with today's average income, people can own a car and easily buy a motorbike.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that the Government must encourage people to take public transport and cycling to work improves health.
Along with
Linking Words
 that, open more public transport fee incentives.The manager should open more public bus routes.
For example
Linking Words
,in my country, Vietnam's Government
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 bus tickets and high taxes
petrol
Change preposition
on petrol
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 and
cars
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 and motorcycles cause transportation difficulty in cities.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pressures
  • Stress
  • Competition
  • Expectations
  • Peer influence
  • Technology
  • Media
  • Standardization
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Extracurriculars
  • Education reform
  • Financial support
What to do next:
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