IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

#people #school #students #money #life #skill #argument
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It has been suggested that teaching middle school
students
Use synonyms
 how to handle their
money
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 is very essential for them,
However
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, it can be too early to teach them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
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 stage. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
to educate
Change the verb form
educating
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 stage is really useful,
espacially
Correct your spelling
especially
 when they grow up they will be
capble
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able
capable
 to control their income.
this
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 essay will analysis why
students
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 should be taught, and why not. In many instances, middle school
students
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 must be taught how to handle their
money
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, because they will depend by their self in the future.
For example
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, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student`s
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student
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
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 age
learn
Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
show examples
 how to manage
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
money
Use synonyms
,
consequently
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,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will get used to it,
as a result
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,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will save effort, time,
Use synonyms
money
Correct word choice
and money
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 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not get
lose
Change the form of the verb
lost
show examples
.
Moreover
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, if the middle school teach
thie
Correct your spelling
these
students
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 the
perents
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parents
 will feel more
convinience
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convenience
 in
this
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 case. It was assumed, that teaching
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
this
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 stage will take effort from the teacher, because, the student
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very young ,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they may be misunderstood their teacher, so
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 will take
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of time
trying
Add the particle
totrying
show examples
 explain
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Additionaly
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Additionally
, many
students
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mab
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 be not
inerested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
this
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 topic,
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
,do not
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
. In conclusion,I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should be taught
hoe
Correct your spelling
how
show examples
 to handle
theit
Correct your spelling
their
the
money
Use synonyms
 to
assists
Wrong verb form
assist
show examples
 them in the future,
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Fix capitalization
however
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However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
 many
students
Use synonyms
to
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not like
this
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 topic at all.
Submitted by aljazihalfarhan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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