IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that adveertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Dicuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention #dicuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advertisement is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the extremely successful marketing strategies to convince a lot of consumers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 do not longer pay attention to it. Every advertising completely
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 many customers by their own advantages.
For example
Linking Words
, using
advertisements
Use synonyms
 as a social media platform to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 about an up to date social problems might have a huge impact on many
people
Use synonyms
's attention.
Such
Linking Words
 as, influencing a campaign about black-live matters or LGBTQ plus.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, giving something in return to the social might empower other
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, non-profit
advertisements
Use synonyms
 administrate their income to help orphans or
people
Use synonyms
 in rural areas.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others argue that advertising can give various drawbacks. Even though our world has changed and approached a decade full of
people
Use synonyms
 who have an open-minded personal attitude but there are still
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
some inproperpriate
advertisements
Use synonyms
 which contain a lot of abusive matters
such
Linking Words
 as sexual harassment or bullying both
indirect
Change the word
indirectly
show examples
 and direct ways
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement refers to the sexual matters without any warnings to whether children or those who are under eighteen years old.
Besides
Linking Words
, a bunch of consumers misunderstood
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over-sell products that
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to avoid the facts.
For instance
Linking Words
, a skincare advertisement claimed that
acnes
Correct your spelling
acne
show examples
 will perfectly disappear for a week but in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
 treatment process. There does not exist.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 gain both benefits and disadvantages from advertising.
However
Linking Words
, the useful solution that can prevent causes and effects from the
advertisements
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness which means customers should consider before
decided
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
 to purchase things.
As well as
Linking Words
 an entrepreneur must have
sincerity
Add an article
the sincerity
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the clients.
Submitted by jeanbabyfrog on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: