IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both sides and express your opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
Some
people
 believe that it is beneficial for any nation if a few top-level
employees
 make much more money than lower-level
employees
,
whereas
 others argue that there should be a cap on
salaries
 so that the difference in
salaries
 of
employees
 is not too pronounced. I believe that having a cap on
salaries
 would be unfair and counterproductive. On the one hand, there are many reasons why some believe that a few individuals earning high
salaries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 good for the country.
Firstly
, high
salaries
 incentivize
people
 to
work
 harder.
In other words
, if the
people
 at the top are earning considerably more money, the other
employees
 would
work
 harder to get promoted to get the same salary.
Secondly
, the higher-level executive officers have to deal with a lot of pressure, and they are responsible for not only their actions but
also
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those under them. So, high
salaries
 are justified.
On the other hand
, those who believe that governments should limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salaries
, give the following reasons. From the company's point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 the main reason is that substantial pay disparity without any justification generates feelings of unfairness, leading lower-paid
employees
 to shrug off their responsibilities. From
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's point of view, it would reduce wealth inequality in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and prevent the rich from gaining unfair control over resources. I believe that high
salaries
 are an
acknowledgment
Change the spelling
acknowledgement
show examples
 of a person's hard
work
, talent and experience. Capping
salaries
 would lead to many talented
people
 leaving the country for better
salaries
 abroad.
In addition
, the ability to earn high
salaries
also
 creates a level playing field because
people
 know if they are willing to
work
 hard and put in their efforts, they can reach any level of success.
To sum up
, extremely high
salaries
 are justified and there should not be a limit on it. A
syster
Correct your spelling
system
sister
 which values hard
work
 and rewards ability
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 ultimately prospers.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: