The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.
The given linear graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
of package delivered by Federal Express and TNT mail services during 80 years period.
overall
,
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
of parcel
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
gradually increased by TNT
while
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of that of Federal Express had
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of fluctuations. In 1920, 15000 of
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
delivered
Add a missing verb
were delivered
show examples
by Federal Express and increased
markly
Correct your spelling
markedly
up to about 23000 until 1940 and
then
drastically
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
during 10 years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period.
Further
reduced till 1960 and began to rise up in
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
bit of slow manner. That trend
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed again when
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
started to go down marginally
1980
Change preposition
from 1980
show examples
to 2000.
On the other hand
,
distributing
Replace the word
distribution
show examples
of
Add an article
the parcel
a parcel
show examples
parcel
Fix the agreement mistake
parcels
show examples
by TNT
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
marginally climbed
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
until 1980 with some fluctuation and
sour
Wrong verb form
soured
show examples
up to 27500 in 1990. Even the federal Federal Express was the major delivery service in 1920 that trend
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed and ENT became the number one by 2000.
Submitted by madhuherath.manny on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "express" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "marginally" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: