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Writing Samples
Band 6

MANY STUDENTS GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL AND THEN WANT TO CONTINUE THEIR STUDIES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. GIVE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF STUDYING ABROAD.

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The place in which a person studies is very important. After graduation, many
students
Use synonyms
 prefer not to continue their studies in their home country. They choose to travel abroad.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and the disadvantages of studying abroad. There are several advantages to studying abroad.
First,
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other countries could provide better education.
Moreover
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, they could have improved universities with great teachers.
Students
Use synonyms
 deserve to have a better way of learning.
Second,
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travelling abroad helps explore a different environment.
In addition
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, discovering a new place to study with a different atmosphere is super fun. Being in the same country can be extremely boring.
Finally
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,
this
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 provides an opportunity to meet new people.
Also
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, they could help each other with studying. Having new friends improves the mental health of a student.
However
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, studying abroad does have multiple disadvantages.
First,
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it sometimes causes loneliness.
Moreover
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, being far from family affects health negatively. Not having a sibling or relative to talk to is hard.
Second,
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it is a massive responsibility.
In addition
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, there are numerous things that
students
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 are responsible for abroad. They have to take care of food, laundry, rent, and much more, which is difficult.
Finally
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, language difference is a major issue for many
students
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.
Also
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, not being able to talk to literally everyone is a problem that they always face.
This
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 makes communication, which is really important, extremely hard. In conclusion, it is clear to see that travelling abroad has numerous advantages,
such
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 as improved education, exploring new environments, and meeting friends.
However
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, it does have various disadvantages. Loneliness, big responsibility, and language differences are just some of the problems

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Task response
You answer both parts of the question. You give clear good and bad points. To make your ideas stronger, explain why a better school is better, or how new friends can help a student. Add one short real example for each main point.
Task response
Some ideas are too general. For example, say what makes a school better: more courses, better labs, or more help from teachers. Also explain how a new place can help a student grow.
Task response
Your last line ends too soon. Finish the conclusion with a full final thought that brings both sides together.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, a paragraph for good points, a paragraph for bad points, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
The words First, Second, Finally, Moreover, and Also help show order. However, you use them very often. Use fewer linking words and make each idea flow into the next one more naturally.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep the same subject clear. For example, after ‘Students deserve...’, do not change to ‘they could have...’ if ‘they’ may mean countries. Write ‘These countries may have...’ or ‘Their universities may have...’.
Coherence and cohesion
Give each main point a little more support before moving to the next point. This will make the middle of each paragraph feel less like a list.
Task response
You cover both the good side and the bad side of studying in another country.
Task response
Your points are relevant: better schools, new places, new friends, being far from family, more daily work, and language problems.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly tells the reader what the essay will discuss.
Coherence and cohesion
The conclusion repeats the main ideas and shows a clear ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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