Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Nowadays , some residents believe that promotion is the best way which merchants want to introduce their items to someone . But
on the other hand
, people think that using too much commercial introduction could result easily to
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
no longer
concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrating
show examples
on it On the one aspect , personally , people have to assume that there are many enormous advantages that advertising could bring in the
modernize
Replace the word
modernised
show examples
period .
Firstly
, advertisement plays an important role in fundamental trade
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
both buyer and seller have
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
. Merchants will have many chances to promote their products
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
scale
as well as
persuade everyone to buy . These would increase
Correct article usage
the attentions
show examples
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
and first impressions of citizen ,
then
they tend to approach items which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
good , useful and affordable for long-term
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
.
As a result
, promotion brings
significantly
Replace the word
significant
show examples
financial benefits to people who have
commercial
Add an article
a commercial
show examples
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. Meanwhile , some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
that using
commonly
Change the word
common
show examples
advertisements causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
neglect for one . The first and biggest reason for
this
opinion is maybe now ,
Add an article
a resident
the resident
show examples
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
could see it everywhere and
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
like banners on the road or social
media’s
Change noun form
media
show examples
statuses and on Television . So approaching day by day makes viewer feels
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
and does not focus too much
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
the amount of contained information . As a buyer , from my viewpoint , advertising product still is one of the most important functions
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
business . Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mordenization
Correct your spelling
modernization
and industrialization
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
becoming widespread around the world , approaching citizen who
concern
Change the verb form
concerns
show examples
about kind of products through advertisements is the most possible way to create
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
. So removing
this
method in the future is
impossible
Add an article
an impossible
show examples
thing
Submitted by honglethiminh1975 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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