IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over resilience on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution.

#people #cars #transportation #resilience #atleast
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In my
consept
Correct your spelling
concept
 people
uses
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 their private
transportation
 can make more
problems
.
Community
Add an article
The community
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are using the vehicle more negative
problems
.
Firstly
, private
transportation
 used more pollution in
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Governments are
more
Add an article
the more
show examples
 systematic
quality
Change preposition
about quality
show examples
 of the public
transport
. We can
transport
railways
Change preposition
by railways
show examples
.so we avoid more
crowded
Replace the word
crowds
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
transport
. In
London
Add a comma
,London
show examples
 there is more capacity for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
autos and make more traffic
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
 popularity needs to travel
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 own vehicles.
Moreover
, the poor public
transportation
 in some countries. There are several measures of the government and individuals make the
problems
 solve. Governments should take the action.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the main public measures developing the people's
problems
 and will reduce to use the
private
Change preposition
of private
show examples
transportation
. We should choose
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 major
transportation
 like trains,taxis and buses? Public authorities should arrange and save the
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 situations. If we are used
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more impurities and increased the c02. So should avoid and
solved
Change the form of the verb
solve
show examples
 the community
problems
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 we can manage
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resilience on cars can be the reason. To changes to use more individual
transport
 to overcome the main situations like
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
show examples
 planet.
Submitted by finajince on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: