IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Living in large cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in smaller towns?

#cities #people #governments #towns
There is no denying the fact that the main impact of
overpopulation
 is arguable.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that a high number of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 have become immigrated to the urban
areas
 which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
 dilemma.
This
 essay will shed light upon some problems and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
overpopulation
.
Overpopulation
 may cause multiple problems. To
begine
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, exploiting automobiles in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
 may lead to
soar
Change the verb form
soaring
show examples
 environmental pollution.
For example
, the masses who immigrated to the city
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 may utilize vehicles extensively, which may result in excessive emission of
greengases
Correct your spelling
green gases
greenhouses
greengages
.
Subsequently
, a high amount of air pollution can lead to many
deedly
Correct your spelling
deadly
show examples
 diseases
such
 as asthma and lung cancer.
Furthermore
,
overpopulation
 may rise the issue of o
vercrowed
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
.
For instance
, a prestigious journal article published that the folks in New York
city
Change the capitalization
City
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 reported that the time they need to commute to their work became
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
. Indeed, it becomes apparent that
overpopulation
 can impact
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
 negatively.
On the other hand
, there are several approaches
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be used to tackle
such
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
First,
increasing
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
areas
 can be a good solution. To illustrate, if the authority offered people jobs outside the urban
areas
, a large amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 will immigrate to those places.
As a consequence
, the proportion of folks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
 will become less,
as well as
 the dilemma of air pollution will
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
.
Thus
,
this
 makes it clear that the government may need to
interfer
Correct your spelling
interfere
 in order to solve
such
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
. In conclusion,
overpopulation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become a serious issue.
However
, the authority may help to solve
this
 problem by introducing factories in the rural
areas
 which may increase the work opportunities in
this area
Fix the agreement mistake
these areas
show examples
.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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