Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. how far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

There is no doubt that these days to guarantee a good job you need
experience
. The question is, what is better to start
work
some people say is better
complete
Fix the infinitive
to complete
show examples
college
and others believe that working after
school
is better. In
this
essay, I am going to discuss these views and draw my own opinions. In terms of view, some people say that the only way to get great
work
is
complete
Fix the infinitive
to complete
show examples
a university. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that the university is not just a place to
take
Verb problem
get
show examples
your education it
also
,
college
helps you to improve your personality. To illustrate, when you were in high
school
you had to get a general education and it does not make you a professional person.
In other words
, a university degree makes you an expert in the field that you want to
work
on
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. So, you will get a high position in your future job when you finish your parchment. In terms of view, other people believe that working after high
school
and getting
experience
in life is the better to guarantee good
work
. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that
experience
in life can be better than a
college
degree. To illustrate,
work
after
school
makes you
such
a patient person because you will have to try to get
experience
in many different areas.
In other words
,
work
after
school
shapes your character, so
work
with
experience
in life has many benefits on a personal level. In conclusion,
although
the parchment makes you more expert in your business,
also
,
work
after
school
has bear good effects.
Therefore
, I believe that completing
college
is a better way to guarantee good
work
.
Submitted by jqsnber4 on

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task response
The essay contains relevant ideas, but they are not fully developed or connected.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion need improvement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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