some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that the main impact of
athletes
Use synonyms
is arguable.
Linking Words
While it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
is a commonly held belief that professional
athletes
Use synonyms
must behave in front of the public because of their popularity.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that as those
sports
Use synonyms
athletes
Use synonyms
winning
Wrong verb form
win
show examples
the games, it is ok to behave badly. From my perspective, I strongly believe that
sports
Use synonyms
athletes
Use synonyms
must behave in an immensely respectful way.
This
Linking Words
essay will shed light upon why I believe
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand, several juveniles might consider popular
athletes
Use synonyms
as their role models,
therefore
Linking Words
,
athletes
Use synonyms
should behave in a very esteemed
manner
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a popular sportsman abuse drugs, he might influence youngsters negatively as youth mimic them.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, imitating those popular masses can adversely affect society.
Thus
Linking Words
, it becomes apparent that well-known
sports
Use synonyms
athletes
Use synonyms
must behave in an
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
manner
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
well recognized athletes
a well recognized athlete
show examples
well recognized
Add a hyphen
well-recognized
show examples
athletes
Use synonyms
may need a good reputation in order to keep their popularity and recognition.
For instance
Linking Words
, no matter how
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the individual succeeds in
sports
Use synonyms
, people's behaviour and attitude matter as folks will start
hated
Change the verb form
to hate
show examples
them if their fame is bad. One good illustration of
this
Linking Words
is the football cup 2022, when a popular athlete acts aggressively toward another athlete of the opposing team, folks criticized him excessively on social media and started to unfollow him.
In other words
Linking Words
, nobody can afford an individual with a bad attitude, the folks might feel disgusted by the way
this
Linking Words
athlete treats others. Indeed,
this
Linking Words
makes it clear that professional
athletes
Use synonyms
should act in a
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
show examples
manner
Use synonyms
in front of their fans. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that professional
sports
Use synonyms
athletes
Use synonyms
must act in a perfect
manner
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because of their popularity which made several teens copycat them, so they should understand their responsibility in society and behave well.
Submitted by mgumssan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks clear supporting details for the argument. More relevant examples and comprehensive ideas are needed to meet the criteria.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and the essay displays some logical structure. However, the development of ideas and their connections could be clearer for better coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • misbehave
  • professional sportsmen
  • role model
  • public figures
  • influence
  • performance
  • moral standards
  • media scrutiny
  • endorsements
  • personal brand
  • consistency
  • punishment
  • redemption
  • integrity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: