some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that the main impact of
athletes
is arguable.
While it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
is a commonly held belief that professional
athletes
must behave in front of the public because of their popularity.
However
, others argue that as those
sports
athletes
winning
Wrong verb form
win
show examples
the games, it is ok to behave badly. From my perspective, I strongly believe that
sports
athletes
must behave in an immensely respectful way.
This
essay will shed light upon why I believe
this
. On the one hand, several juveniles might consider popular
athletes
as their role models,
therefore
,
athletes
should behave in a very esteemed
manner
.
For example
, if a popular sportsman abuse drugs, he might influence youngsters negatively as youth mimic them.
Subsequently
, imitating those popular masses can adversely affect society.
Thus
, it becomes apparent that well-known
sports
athletes
must behave in an
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
manner
.
Moreover
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
well recognized athletes
a well recognized athlete
show examples
well recognized
Add a hyphen
well-recognized
show examples
athletes
may need a good reputation in order to keep their popularity and recognition.
For instance
, no matter how
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the individual succeeds in
sports
, people's behaviour and attitude matter as folks will start
hated
Change the verb form
to hate
show examples
them if their fame is bad. One good illustration of
this
is the football cup 2022, when a popular athlete acts aggressively toward another athlete of the opposing team, folks criticized him excessively on social media and started to unfollow him.
In other words
, nobody can afford an individual with a bad attitude, the folks might feel disgusted by the way
this
athlete treats others. Indeed,
this
makes it clear that professional
athletes
should act in a
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
show examples
manner
in front of their fans. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that professional
sports
athletes
must act in a perfect
manner
.
This
is because of their popularity which made several teens copycat them, so they should understand their responsibility in society and behave well.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks clear supporting details for the argument. More relevant examples and comprehensive ideas are needed to meet the criteria.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and the essay displays some logical structure. However, the development of ideas and their connections could be clearer for better coherence and cohesion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • misbehave
  • professional sportsmen
  • role model
  • public figures
  • influence
  • performance
  • moral standards
  • media scrutiny
  • endorsements
  • personal brand
  • consistency
  • punishment
  • redemption
  • integrity
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