Individuals cannot alleviate the poverty that exists in the world; it is the responsibility of governments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
poverty
is a big issue and problem in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the co
untries
Correct your spelling
countries
entries
,
this
problem must be solved so that
people
will have a better life.
However
othe
Correct your spelling
other
people
believe that
government
should help the
people
who are in need or less fortunate
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will agree that
government
should support the
people
that in
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
line. Some
people
, including me, believe that
government
should help and support the
people
who are less fortunate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it can
reaaly
Correct your spelling
really
boost
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
confidence and morale to do more and work hard in
order
to have
income
Add an article
the income
show examples
to support
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
family. The assistance of the
government
is crucial to
this
kind of individual.
For instance
, if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
have no food to eat or no money at all, some of these
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
desperate and
then
they do bad moves, like robbery or stealing
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
In addition
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should give free education to the children of
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
people
under
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
line, because
this individual
Fix the agreement mistake
these individuals
show examples
cannot afford to bring
ther
Correct your spelling
their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to school.
On the other hand
,
people
should not rely entirely on the
government
and should constantly request assistance. Individuals should put in a lot of effort and consider all available options to supplement their family's income in
order
to ensure their survival and ability to accumulate funds for the future.
For instance
, if these
people
lack
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
formal education, the
government
offers a number of free vocational courses that they can take to earn another degree and find employment with a respectable wage. Anyone can assist the area in
this
way. In my view,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
should first help
themeselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
to get out of the
poverty
line,
this
individual should have a solid plan on how to have extra revenue in
order
to maintain
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
family.
Government
should assist these types of parents in providing free education for their children in
order
to lessen their burden.
Submitted by rubenellaurino on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: