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Band 4.5

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life
It was true that there were plenty of
fashion
 products which had very expensive prices. Some
people
 agreed that
fashion
items
 were costly since they played an important role in daily life. There are three main reasons why
fashion
items
 are expensive.
First,
since
fashion
 objects are popular, the higher the price of the products, the more money merchants can earn.
Second,
the processes of creating
fashion
 products are complicated. Designers need to try which shapes, materials and
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 are the most suitable.
Furthermore
, the part
that is
 most essential
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 creating
fashion
items
 is that that stuff must have
innovative
Correct article usage
an innovative
show examples
 appearance or functions which can be displayed.
Although
fashion
 was an important part of life,
fashion
 stuff was not acceptable to be too expensive.
Fashion
 trend was created by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
,
however
, it was not suited for everyone. The better way to develop
people
's own
fashion
 was to understand what was their
style
 and which
items
 fit them most. When
people
 found their unique
style
, they created their own
fashion
. Since the objects
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they needed were not in
fashion
 trends, they could purchase the objects
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheaper prices. In my own opinion, finding our own
style
 and knowing what
siut
Correct your spelling
suits
 us
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more important than chasing
fashion
 trends. Once we figure out our own
style
, we create our own
fashion
. When
people
 no longer like the same object, there is a chance for the price of the product to decrease.
Therefore
, it is more accessible for us to choose our unique stuff.
Submitted by m8121668 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
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