Too much emphasis is given to education on the young. More government money should be spent on the free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been a common belief that
people
who are divided in their opinions regarding Use synonyms
education
have a vital role in the future of the young generation. Use synonyms
However
, there are some debaters that government funding should support free Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
activities
. From my perspective, Use synonyms
both
views have their merits, I agree with Use synonyms
both
statements. The following essay takes a look at Use synonyms
both
views.
On the one hand, investing in the Use synonyms
education
of young Use synonyms
people
is crucial for their personal development, future opportunities and the Use synonyms
overall
well-being of society. Linking Words
In particular
, Linking Words
education
plays a fundamental role in equipping young generations with essential knowledge Use synonyms
skills
to succeed in life, pursue their passions and contribute meaningfully to society. Correct word choice
and skills
For example
, students from European universities are the dearest proof that their Linking Words
education
system is carefully invested to ensure the quality of their students after graduation. Use synonyms
Moreover
, investing in Linking Words
education
can increase employment opportunities, higher earning potential and Use synonyms
overall
societal progress.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, providing funding for free Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
activities
for young Use synonyms
people
is Use synonyms
also
important in promoting their holistic growth and well-rounded development. Engaging in free Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
such
as sports, arts and music can enhance young Linking Words
people
’s creativity, Use synonyms
socials
skills, physical well-being and mental health. Creating extracurricular or physical Change the noun form
social
activities
is Use synonyms
also
a way to help young Linking Words
people
feel less pressured after stressful classes create a more relaxed mind and stimulate the development of the brain and thinking. Use synonyms
For instance
, adding some physical Linking Words
education
classes during study Use synonyms
time
helps students have Use synonyms
time
to Use synonyms
both
exercise physically and relax their Use synonyms
mind
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
minds
both
Use synonyms
education
and extracurricular play complementary roles in shaping well-rounded individuals who are socially adept, physically active and emotionally resilient.Use synonyms
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task achievement
You have provided a balanced view, but try to deepen your arguments by adding more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the overall logic is sound, slightly clearer connectors between ideas would improve flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument and acknowledges the value in each perspective, reflecting a well-rounded approach.