Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no doubt that online entertainment sites nowadays are becoming a major source of attraction. They are

well liked

Add a hyphen

well-liked

show examples

by all the

people

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belonging to different age groups.

While

Linking Words

they are becoming quite popular in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society, they

also

Linking Words

carry some risks if we

are sharing

Wrong verb form

show examples

our personal

data

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with them. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks and explain why the benefits outweigh the drawbacks with examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is common knowledge that these online sites require us to share our sensitive

data

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This

Linking Words

has a risk attached to it.

For instance

Linking Words

, they might share your personal

data

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with a

third party

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third-party

show examples

institution without your consent.

However

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the latest government policies for

data

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privacy and protection which are stringent in nature, many companies have started implementing strict security protocols and laws. If the government feels that a company is breaching the security code, it can

then

Linking Words

impose heavy fines on that particular social

media

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site.

Secondly

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, many

people

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nowadays are using social

media

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as a tool to earn money. These

people

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are called influencers and they earn by uploading motivational videos and images.

In addition

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, these sites are an excellent way

for communicating

Change preposition

to communicate

show examples

as we can send a message to someone or even attend a video conference from a remote location.

Furthermore

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, If we want to monetize our

business

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, all we need to do is advertise the

business

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information on social

media

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For example

Linking Words

, creating a

business

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page, explaining how the

business

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will help others and how

people

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can contribute to it. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

sharing sensitive

data

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with online applications carries a certain amount of risk, I believe the advantages of using social

media

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effectively, outnumber the disadvantages and risks.

mohanishmasdekarWed Mar 08 2023

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Task Response: The response addresses all parts of the task, presents a well-developed and well-organized argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a good overall coherence and cohesion with a clear structure. The logical flow of ideas and use of linking words is effective. However, there is scope for improvement in maintaining a consistent formal tone.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social media platforms
Connectivity
Self-expression
Creativity
Global communication
Instantaneous communication
Personal growth
Career advancement
Privacy concerns
Identity theft
Cyberbullying
Addiction
Productivity
Misinformation
Crisis

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Employers should focus on personal qualities over qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. To what extent do you agree with this?

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain: •Why you cannot pay the rent •When you will pay the rent. •How you will ensure you can pay your rent in the future

Teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their communities. This is good foe the individuals concerned and society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with htis view? Discuss, based on your own knowledge and experience.

Some people think that students should focus on a few subjects, while others believe that students should study a wide range of subjects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.