In order for the world to be a 'greener' place, punishments and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #place #punishments #fines #acts #individuals

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

As human

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

being

Add a comma

,being

show examples

everyone should be responsible to protect the ecosystem and

this

Linking Words

green, non-polluted environment

gradually

Add a missing verb

is gradually

show examples

reduced

due to

Linking Words

humans' unpleasant events.

This

Linking Words

is said that the

punishments

Use synonyms

and money for illegal activities should be more strict and harsh to punish people who harm the environment. I completely agree with the statement, because natural

resources

Use synonyms

diminish significantly and little punishes and

fines

Use synonyms

help to speed up the damage rate.

Firstly

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

contemporary

era

Add a comma

,era

show examples

the number of natural

resources

Use synonyms

is decreasing drastically.

According to

Linking Words

the growing population requirement amount

Change preposition

for

show examples

lands

Fix the agreement mistake

land

show examples

and

shelter

Fix the agreement mistake

shelters

show examples

rapidly rise and deforestation has

also

Linking Words

chronologically grown.

Additionally

Linking Words

, consume water percentage is 0.1% and most living beings are unable to use the huge amounts of marine aqua.

Although

Linking Words

industrialization is polluting pure water continuously, it is available in minimum amounts.

Such

Linking Words

as, many

researches

Change the wording

types of research

pieces of research

kinds of research

show examples

revealed that polluted water contains

a considerable levels

Correct the article-noun agreement

considerable levels

a considerable level

show examples

of mercury and it is

direct

Replace the word

directly

show examples

affects humans and animals.

Therefore

Linking Words

, valuable limited

resources

Use synonyms

should be protected by punishing responsible individuals in the proper manner.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the available

punishments

Use synonyms

are not adequate to control the situation. There are many rules,regulations and

fines

Use synonyms

provided by environmental protection organizations,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

those are not standard and not activated practically.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, individuals do not care about insufficient

fines

Use synonyms

and the political impacts protect them unfairly. As an example, illegal cement factory owners get permission from politicians to produce even if emitting poisonous gasses into the atmosphere.

Thus

Linking Words

, all

fines

Use synonyms

and

punishments

Use synonyms

should be harsh and powerful. In conclusion, Global green cover should protect and people who damage the ecosystem must be punished with severe

punishments

Use synonyms

. I totally agree with the harsh

punishments

Use synonyms

, because limited natural

resources

Use synonyms

are diminishing permanently and available

fines

Use synonyms

are inadequate to control the situation.

Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on Wed Mar 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
As well as making money, businesses have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While nowadays, all the companies strive to make more money with the aim of skyrocketing their annual profits, some argue that these businesses must consider the other aspects namely investments in social activities. I concur although the main goal of managers is to improve their financial states, they have to do their social role.
8
band
Analysts tell us that many people today feel stressed and think they have insufficient control over their lives. What problems do such feelings cause for people? What remedies could you suggest?
It is no surprise that researchers have found increased stress levels in people, along with a sense of inadequate control over their lives. This essay will discuss the problems that stem from this, as well as some possible solutions to deal with the matter at hand.
7
band
ou would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter • Explain what type of car you would like • Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost
I am writing to ask you to arrange a rental car to travel to Paris ,on the next week.
4.5
band
Some people prefer to work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some individuals opt for working at the same company throughout their career while others say it is better to work for different firms. While stuck in one position at the workplace would be a challenge for someone who is changing organisations, I believe remaining at the same company can lead to stability and security.
4.5
band
Nowadays tourism generates a significant portion of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion
In recent years, there has been an unpredictable surge in tourism industry. Therefore it contributes a huge amount of money in national income for some countries meanwhile, it also increasing unwanted circumstances. In this essay, I will explain some pros and cons of tourism in ensuring paragraphs.

In order for the world to be a 'greener' place, punishments and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As well as making money, businesses have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Analysts tell us that many people today feel stressed and think they have insufficient control over their lives. What problems do such feelings cause for people? What remedies could you suggest?

ou would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter • Explain what type of car you would like • Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost

Some people prefer to work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays tourism generates a significant portion of national income for many countries, but it has certain drawbacks too. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and provide a logical conclusion