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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is undebatable that there are numerous problems in our environment.
While
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 some argue that declining in the number of
species
Use synonyms
 (flora and fauna) is the premiere problem, others say the main problem is more than that. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both views and give some reasons why I firmly believe that the pivotal issues are more than the loss of certain
species
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. On the
one
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 hand, many particular
species
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 becoming endangered
due to
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 massive exploitation and illegal poaching by humans. It is
one
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 of the derivations in terms of environmental damages caused by deforestation, burning forests, and natural disasters. A variety of animals
such
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 as birds, insects, and mammals lost their homes because of massive detriments by
people
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.
For instance
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, changing a forest into an agricultural area.
Similarly
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, some different plants were killed by fire
while
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 companies burned forests and mountains to make new roads.
Although
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,
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 the development gives
people
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 more access towards many areas,
this
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 event lowers many places for flora and fauna to live.
On the other hand
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, there is more damage destroyed by
people
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such
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 as the quality of air and water.
Firstly
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, bad weather quality is
one
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 of the environmental issues caused by many industry processes and the burning of coal to generate electricity.
Secondly
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, many irresponsible
people
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 throw their waste into waters like oceans, rivers, and lakes.
As a result
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, these events bring more problems to our world.
To sum up
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, not only
the
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is the
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 fact that many
species
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 were killed becoming
people
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's responsibility, but
also
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 the decline of water and air quality is
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also
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considered an important environmental problem
that is
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 caused by humans' attitudes. To suggest, every individual and government should be aware of making new decisions and policies so that no
one
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 will be affected by their cupidity.
Additionally
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, they must be more serious in tackling the thorny issues caused by our ancestors and serve the best life for every
species
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an obvious beginning, development of ideas, and conclusion. Try to improve the organization of your paragraphs and use linking words to help the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary to add complexity and precision to your arguments. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views and stating your own opinion consistently throughout the essay. Clarify your main points and support them with more specific and varied examples.
task achievement
Aim to develop your ideas further. Each paragraph should explore the issues in more depth, providing clear reasoning for your points and making use of examples that are detailed and relevant to enhance the response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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