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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
A large number of
children
 nowadays spend their
time
 playing games or scrolling social media on their smartphones, even if they do not feel like spending much
time
 on that. I argue that those might be smartphone has a ton of entertainment that create
children
 addicted to them, which may
leadto
Correct your spelling
lead to
a negative impact on the future. On the one hand, recently
children
 tend to waste their
time
 on gadgets because they think that there has a lot of games or movies that they can play or watch, even if they already spent their
time
 on them.
For example
, students nowadays prefer to open their
handphone
Fix the agreement mistake
handphones
show examples
 rather than socialize with their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
, which can create a social building, they think that playing a game or watching a movie is more interesting
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they argue that it may reduce their stress or their frustration.
On the other hand
, researchers argue that spending a lot of
time
 on gadgets may bring negative impacts.
Firstly
, students are more individualistic, because too much focus on handphones may reduce conversations with their friends;
hence
,
instead
 of sharing or discussing with their
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
friend
Add a comma
,friend
show examples
 they are busy with their own activities, which plays a smartphone.
Secondly
, it may create addiction, as probably people know that smartphone has
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
entertainment
Change to a plural noun
entertainments
show examples
 which can be accessed by many people;
hence
,
children
 prefer to search for more games or movies on the internet that it makes
children
 addicted to browsing more and more. In conclusion, there are several factors why
children
 wasted
time
 too much on smartphones, it has a lot of advertisements,
then
 it may create negative impacts.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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