Successfai sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Football
is the most well-known and lucrative sport all around the world.
Additionally
, after approximately a hundred years, it has become an industry that makes a profit from it because of brought by the capitalist system is impossible to compete with the environment,
football
is one of the chain ways on the hierarchy. It has been an opportunity for sub-class citizens to escape daily life problems and stress to find themselves and create a new career.
Footballers
who have earned more
money
than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
professions mostly start
this
job in childhood and move to middle age accepted
according to
someone
while
others think it is an unbalanced distribution of salary, for me, it is an
obvious
Change the word
obviously
show examples
unjust conclusion of the capitalist system.
To begin
with, the power of advertisement has emerged in every aspect of
football
, which we have been exposed to through television, billboards, or even a café so which gives a credit to
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
more
money
than the other occupations and it has caused an unbalanced system of salary.
Football
, from its sponsor to flag, contains huge income from different areas by using psychological technics. When
people
gather for the same purpose, it creates an inner group to dismiss the other or the unwanted, and the commercial companies or highly profitable sponsors mostly exploiting from it for taking advantage of it. In
this
way,
while
the companies that are attached to
footballers
gain more power from followers, the gap between the professions has been opened. It has been serving wealth’s income not only by becoming a fan but
also
by passively watching.
On the other hand
,
footballers
start their jobs when they are in the middle of their childhood and
this
occupation requires removing distracting things for full concentration,
that is
might be one of the reasons why
footballers
make more
money
. They mostly signed a contract that includes severe conclusions if they move away.
Footballers
have to stick with those harsh rules
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
almost twenty years without break.
Furthermore
,
football
utilizes context to release tension or stress and meeting for who believe related
team
.
People
who spent time with
football
tend to be more relaxed and united, they ignore the
money
that they lay on it. Fans and
footballers
consider giving
money
as investing or contributing for the
team
's sake. Everyone who believes in
football
to watch the
team
and try to protect it whatever their circumstances are.
Football
could reach all more easily than other occupations which
is
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are
show examples
why anyone easily invests in it. In my opinion,
football
could easily
used
Change the verb form
be used
use
show examples
for making
money
from
people
,
such
as other occupations that have high advertisement power and it
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
the richest who are
connect
Wrong verb form
connected
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
football
companies. In time, it is likely to lose its essence and
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
only an industry without ethical procedures.
To sum up
,
footballers
and their related corporations have been making
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
of
money
from their followers and it produces
unbalanced
Add an article
an unbalanced
show examples
distribution of salary in everywhere
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the earth. Even,
people
Correct word choice
though people
show examples
who
follows
Change the verb form
follow
show examples
footballs
Fix the agreement mistake
football
show examples
might
be feel
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
more comfortable and united,
tend
Correct word choice
and tend
show examples
to invest
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the development of the
team
, it still
trade
Change the verb form
trades
show examples
on its followers.
Submitted by aylaaltintas1995 on

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