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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that government should be held responsible when problem of homelessness snd unemployment arise.Do you agree or disagree

#people #government #homelessness #snd #unemployment
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A growing unemployed rate and population of homeless could provide various hazards in societies. Despite some people could get rid of
such
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 dilemma based on personal hard work, I agree that government have the obligation to stop those phenomena from deteriorating. First of all, regarding the rising number of homeless, one of the main causes is the
house
Use synonyms
price
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 that consistently increases, which makes it unaffordable to the majority of young adults. Many of them have no choice but to rent a home, which puts them in a vulnerable situation since it will get harder to rent a place
while
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 they ageing. To solve
such
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 issues,
governments
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 could make policies to cool down the overheated
house
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 markets, putting the
house
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price
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 in a reasonable
price
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 range.
Moreover
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, regulations should be applied to prevent abuses by landlords, including stopping the contract without notice in advance
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or rise the rental fees before the due date of the current contract.
Secondly
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, to solve the problem of
continuously
Correct article usage
the continuously
show examples
grow
Change the verb form
growing
show examples
 rate of unemployed,
governments
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 could create more job opportunities by providing better retirement plans and earlier retirement age. It is not only for young individuals to have more chances, but ensure a comfortable retirement environment for elderly people. On top of that,
governments
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 could invest in local private institutions to help them grow their business, which could create more job positions
while
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 they expand their business.
To conclude
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, I agree that government play an essential role to tackle the problems of unemployment and homelessness. They are able to control the
house
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price
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 which displays an upward trend,
moreover
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,
governments
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 are able to stimulate local businesses to create more job opportunities.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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