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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development
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It is inevitable that a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 really yearn to be good-looking. In order to look interesting, they even spend a lot of money to have a
beauty
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 operation or
surgery
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. How media portrays
beauty
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 is the primary reason why
people
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 do
such
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 things which I believe that it will make influence them negatively. Mass media both written and visual plays an important role in
this
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 matter. Many advertisements display white and slim individuals in order to sell
beauty
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 products. The way the media portrays really affects how society thinks. They will think that to be accepted by society's
beauty
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 standards, they have to look exactly like what they see in the commercials.
Therefore
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, they are willing to choose
a
Remove the article
apply
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plastic
surgery
Use synonyms
 as the solution for them to feel flawless. In my opinion, the aforementioned reason will give a negative impact on them.
People
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 who choose
surgery
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 will become more obsessed with the perception of
beauty
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. Many articles have published a lot of
people
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 having a bad experience after having the
surgery
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. Some of them still crave perfection and still feel not satisfied with their looks that they even want to have another operation. If they feel that way for a long time, it will make them stressed and even lead to suicide.
In addition
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,
people
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 will become lack gratitude for what they have. They become uncontrollable in perceiving the standards.
For instance
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, a public figure named
Lucinta
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Lucinda
 Luna had transgender and
also
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 plastic
surgery
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. At
first,
Linking Words
she only wanted to change to look pretty just like a woman, but
then
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 she desired to
also
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 have a woman's voice and later a nose and breast job. In conclusion, cosmetic
surgery
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 happens because of the
beauty
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 standards of society. Unfortunately, it provides drawbacks to the individuals,
such
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 as stress and a lack of feeling grateful.
Submitted by tragicpunch on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Idealized beauty standards
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Advancements in medical technology
  • Socially acceptable
  • Self-improvement
  • Psychological well-being
  • Competitive workforce
  • Youthful appearance
  • Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
  • Physical appearance
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