The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.
The charts illustrate 4 different future paths that
graduate
and postgraduate admission in the UK took in 2008.
Overall
,
further
study is the most popular choice for enlistment
while
voluntary work is the least. The number of graduates is much higher than that of postgraduates. It is apparent that the graph for graduates and alum who continue to study stands at the highest point.
In other words
, nearly 30000
graduate
students choose to study
further
whereas
2725 postgraduate recruitment decide to follow the same path. Regardless of part-time work being the second most common for both students, nearly half of all the alum became temporary employees. Interestingly, the rate of
graduate
and postgraduate enlistment who are either unemployed or working voluntarily is almost equal.
Although
graduates and
graduate
share similar trends in that the unemployment rate of both recruitments is relatively lower and voluntary work remains the least popular, the number of the former is approximately 10 times higher than that of the latter.
Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: