The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates the production process of
sugar
Use synonyms
from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the manufacturing procedure of
sugar
Use synonyms
consists of seven stages starting from farming
sugar
Use synonyms
canes that are used as raw material and ending with the crystallization of
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
further
Linking Words
steps is involving chemical substances
such
Linking Words
as limestone and heat treatment.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
sugar
Use synonyms
cane with a growing age of 12 to 18 months can be harvested using one of two methods: an agricultural vehicle or a manual harvester. The crushing machine is
then
Linking Words
used to extract
sugar
Use synonyms
juice and feed it to a purifying filter to remove turbidity from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane fibre particles via the limestone filter.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, because the transition from liquid-based juice to viscous-based juice known as syrup occurs only at high temperatures, the filtered juices are evaporated before the processed syrup is delivered to the centrifuge to separate
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals from the syrup.
Finally
Linking Words
, the drying and cooling process is employed to complete the process of producing commercial
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jeanbabyfrog on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: