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Band 5

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What are the primary causes of this? What is the main effect of this?

#people #effect
According to
 studies,
people
 whose body mass index is over
than
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apply
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24.9
considered
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are considered
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as
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apply
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overweight. Recently it is
upgoing
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an upgoing
the upgoing
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 trend to be preobese or obese which is extremely dangerous for
human
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the human
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 cardiovascular system.
This
 essay will argue the main
causes
 of
this
 problem.
Firstly
, the 2 main
causes
 of being fat are malnutrition and sedentary lifestyles.
Although
 malnutrition
generally known
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is generally known
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 as inadequate nutrition for individuals per
a
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apply
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day,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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massive amounts of
calories
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calorie
show examples
 intake
also
 result in malnutrition. Fast foods and packaged foods are high in calories which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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prepare the consumer to gain weight.
For
instance
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,instance
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 milkshakes and
oreos
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Oreos
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 are
great
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a great
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option
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options
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 for juveniles who have a sweet tooth. And packaged brownies are generally undesirable for ladies. These examples contain
a extreme amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
extreme amounts
an extreme amount
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 of energy which is more
then
Correct your spelling
than
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 humans require.
Secondly
, interest in sports or exercises
are
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is
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 not popular
amoung
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among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adults anymore. Despite some physical activities
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 assist in burning fat, these activities should be done regularly.The World Health Organisation
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 more than 180 minutes of
exercises
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exercise
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 in a week which is not
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
 by sedentary
people
.
For example
, many
people
 have
gym
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a gym
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 or
crossfit
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CrossFit
membership
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memberships
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 in their cities, but only a few of them
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 daily.
Finally
, the main effect of these
causes
 is calorie intake imbalance which is
resulted
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result
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 of an increased input or decreased output of calories into
body
Add an article
the body
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.
People
with
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of
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 all ages should be aware of
this
 effect.
To conclude
, bad eating habits and
sedetary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 lifestyles are the main
causes
 of the calorie intake imbalance which result in increased weight or even obesity.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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