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Band 4.5

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 200 to 2006

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 200 to 2006
#sales #kinds #games
The bar illustrates the holistic
market
share
 of different kinds
digital
Change preposition
of digital
show examples
games
 from 2000 to 2006.
Overall
,
whereas
 the
sales
 of handheld
games
, online
games
, and mobile
games
 inclined,
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
share
 of console
games
 fell over the span. At the beginning of the loop
sales
 of handheld
games
 were twice as much as for console
console
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
games
 representing 12
billion
 $. In the following
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 picture did not change significantly, but online
games
 started to
sale
Replace the word
sell
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 and were almost 500 million $. In 2002
sales
 of handheld
games
 saw an
extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
 increase of approximately 3
billion
 $.
In addition
, mobile phone
games
 appear
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
market
share
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year. From
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2003 to 2004 online
games
 and mobile phone
games
sales
 went up noticeably
as well as
sales
 of handheld
games
,
while
 the
sales
 of console
games
 remained stable at about 5
billion
 $. In 2005,
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
share
 of handheld
games
 was almost 15$
billions
Change to singular
billion
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, which was a sum of all other sorts of
games
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the end console
games
sales
 represented the lowest around 3
billion
 $. Meanwhile, accounting for just below 18
billion
 $ the
sales
 of handheld
games
 were the highest.
Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share, games, sales, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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