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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Dose this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #dose #situation
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In these recent years,
people
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 claim that they working under a major hour per day and have minimal
hours
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 for social life. As they found that they have no time for their family and friends. I agree to a certain that working for a long period of time does impact our personal life. In the following paragraphs, I will explain my personal opinions towards these issues.
To begin
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 with, now
people
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 have long operating days,
people
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 tend to
work
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 up to 9 to 12
hours
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 a day.
Due to
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 their commitments,
people
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 have more mortgages, expenses and desires o their life. For instants, nowadays we can see that everyone should have a car, house, luxury branded accessories and communications devices.
While
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 all these assets have become a burden for them because they need to pay the bills to fulfilled their desire. These ideas have become a motivation for
people
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 to commit to working long
hours
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 and get more income. These are the advantage for
people
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 able to
work
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 long
hours
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 to fulfil their dreams.
On the other hand
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, if everyone in the family committed to long working
hours
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, it will impact their family bonding issues.
For example
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, if families have younger and teenage children, they need more attention on their development stages. As their parents
work
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 for a long period of time these will make the young population have attachment concerns and don't able to shape their identity, because they don't have a security person to go to when problems occur.
Consequently
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, it impacted family bonding and they do not entitle to a sense of security with their families.
To sum up
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,
people
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 who long for long
hours
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 should find a balance between
work
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 and leisure, because the merit and demerit of these could impact their personal activity. From my point of view, I still believe to a certain degree that working for a long period of the term to brings some advantages to society.
Submitted by SugerMei on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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