Some people think that government should be held responsible when problem of homelessness and unemployment arise. Do you agree or disagree

These days

people

Punctuation problem

, people

show examples

argue about the responsibility of the

government

Use synonyms

. So, some people think that the administration of a nation has the full responsibility to make strong decisions to solve issues regarding homelessness and unemployment. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

point of view and believe that the

government

Use synonyms

has the ability to sufficiently find ways to reduce these problems. On one hand, the financial situation of a Person is dependent on the individual themselves. If the general public

work

Correct subject-verb agreement

works

show examples

and

study

Correct subject-verb agreement

studies

show examples

hard in

their

Change preposition

In their

show examples

life

Use synonyms

, they will definitely be rewarded, and

then

Linking Words

they can have their own house. For illustration, my friend who came from a poor family

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

started investing in himself and worked hard a long time ago. And fortunately, he

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

a well-paid job and he is

able now

Correct word order

now able

show examples

to live a peaceful

life

Use synonyms

without even experiencing any hardships.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, houses and japs are the basic needs of living.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should be responsible for providing those basic needs.

In addition

Linking Words

, elevating the quality of

this

Linking Words

education can

also

Linking Words

help to create many opportunities. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, if everyone were well-educated, they would be able to build their own businesses, or even they will be qualified enough

Change preposition

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

find jobs. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the

government

Use synonyms

should be held responsible for unemployment and homelessness, and

also

Linking Words

everyone should work hard in their

life

Use synonyms

so they can live a wonderful

life

Use synonyms

louis.pang.sa

Mar 11, 2023

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task response

Your view is clear, but you should give more big steps the government can take to help with homelessness and unemployment. Add more clear ideas, not just one example.

coherence cohesion

Make the flow better. Use a clear start, then one main idea per paragraph, and end with a short finish. Use easy link words like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'for example'.

task response

Your examples are few and simple. Include more details or data, or show how the plan would work in real life.

language quality

Fix mistakes in spelling and form. Use simple, common words. Short sentences are often easier to read.

coherence cohesion

Make the second paragraph start with a clear topic sentence that matches the first paragraph, and connect ideas so that each part fits the next.

strength

Clear stance on the issue

strength

Intro, body, and conclusion are present

strength

Uses an example to support an idea

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

243 words

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people think, however, that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

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