IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 two maps illustrate how to arrive
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
City
 hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
Overall
, in 2007
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is only one
access
 in
enter
Correct your spelling
centre
show examples
 to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
.
Year
Change the article
The year
show examples
 2010 it
is change
Change the verb form
is changed
is changing
show examples
 to other several
access
. The bus stop place changed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 location and additional three roundabouts
added
Add a missing verb
were added
show examples
 to the new map. The
City
 hospital
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007, it has one pathway in
enter
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
 to
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 hospital.
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
 are many trees
besides
Replace the word
beside
show examples
 the hospital
road
.
Staff
Correct article usage
The staff
show examples
car
park
 and
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
car
park
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 situated
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place and it is
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
side
 of the hospital
road
. The bus
stop
Change the verb form
stops
show examples
far
Add a missing verb
is far
show examples
 away from the hospital and it is located on
East
Correct article usage
the East
show examples
Side
 of
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it.
New
Correct article usage
The new
show examples
 plan in 2010,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has lots of
changers
Correct your spelling
changes
show examples
 in
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
city
 area. They are adding another
access
 on
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
buy
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
theway
Correct your spelling
the way
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are three roundabouts added to
this
 map, two are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 hospital
road
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
on
Add a missing verb
is on
show examples
Add an article
the eastside
show examples
eastside
Correct your spelling
east side
show examples
 of the hospital
road
. Bus stop
place
Add a missing verb
is place
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
left
Add an article
the left
show examples
side
 of
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
 and it
more close
Replace the words
closer
show examples
 to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
. The staff
car
park
 and public
car
park
separated
Add a missing verb
are separated
show examples
 and
staff
Correct article usage
the staff
show examples
park
close
Add a missing verb
is close
show examples
 to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
. Public
car
park
 in East
Side
 of
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have different
access
 to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
.
Submitted by dilinimenik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words city, access, road, car, park, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: