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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people believe it is better to raise their children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choise. discuss both views and giv your opinion

#people #children #city #countryside #choise #giv
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While
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 some argue that raising
children
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial, others believe that choosing rural areas is preferable.
Although
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 the countryside can be beneficial to
children
Use synonyms
 because they tend to grow up healthier,
this
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 essay agrees with the former because
cities
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 offer the easiest access to education when compared to the countryside. Considering
firstly
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 rural living, it is often observed that many
children
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 who are raised in these areas have no health problems frequently.
This
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 is because rural places do not have industries or factories, which emit pollutants into the atmosphere responsible for triggering respiratory conditions,
such
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 as asthma and allergies.
For instance
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, it has been shown that a boy or a girl who lives in a
city
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 is more likely to have asthma attacks than their peers who live in non-industrialised areas.
However
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, I do not think that
this
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 should be the main reason to take into consideration when parents address their child´s future. Living in
city
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 centres gives more opportunities for boys and girls to have access to education.
This
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 is observed because large
cities
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 are often equipped with large varieties of schools,
such
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 as medical and art schools, which allow
children
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 to contact different perspectives and choose the one they prefer the most. If they get in contact with these realities at an early age, later in their adult life they would be able to pursue the job of their dreams.
For example
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, dance schools are only common in big
cities
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,
therefore
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, a child who lives in a rural area would not be able to experiment with arts and follow
this
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 path, even if they are talented.
For
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this
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 reason, I agree that living in the
city
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 is far more desirable. In conclusion,
whereas
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 some people choose to raise their
children
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 away from
cities
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 to breed them healthier, I am a vehement supporter that the diversity in access to education is one of the biggest stimuli when opting to raise them in a
city
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ana.lpsmachado on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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