Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
These days, shopping has become one of the most popular
type
of Change to a plural noun
types
lesirue
Correct your spelling
leisure
activity
among adolscents
in several countries. Nowadays adults like to buy new fashion Correct your spelling
adolescents
wears
and want to go with the trend Fix the agreement mistake
wear
beacause
of Correct your spelling
because
high
usage of social media. In Correct article usage
the high
this
essay, i
will Change the capitalization
I
dicuss
about its pros and cons.
Correct your spelling
discuss
Firstly
, in today's world students spend most of their time
in schools, colleges and then
universities, so they find very Rephrase
apply
less
Correct word choice
little
time
to do any extra-curricular activity
. Shopping can serve as a source of Fix the agreement mistake
activities
activity
in which they can learn how to buy things?.
How to deal with different Change the punctuation
.
kind
of peopleFix the agreement mistake
kinds
?.
Change the punctuation
?
On the other hand
, adults learn how to manage their finances and shop stuff that they like. By shopping
they move in Add a comma
shopping,
the
society and learn about different fashion trends.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, in schools and colleges
students have a lot of pressure to get good grades as Add a comma
colleges,
compeition
among the students Correct your spelling
competition
are
increasing day by day. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
As a result
, they find no time
to spend with friends, relatives and family. In that way, during shopping
they can not only spend quality Add a comma
shopping,
time
with their loved ones but can also
feel relaxed and stress free
. Add a hyphen
stress-free
For example
, several young girls like to do
shopping with their friends and it gives them immense pleasure.
Correct your spelling
go
To conclude
, in my opinion
shopping is a good form of Add a comma
opinion,
activity
for the youth. It has its own consequences like children can spend more time
, waste money on useless stuff, and their urge to buy new stuff but it can be combated by guiding them.Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay touches upon some relevant points, but it lacks depth and detailed analysis. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging.
task response
The essay partially responds to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for shopping as a leisure activity and its positive/negative impact. However, the response lacks thorough exploration and analysis of the topic.