Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days, shopping has become one of the most popular

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

lesirue

Correct your spelling

leisure

activity

Use synonyms

among

adolscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

in several countries. Nowadays adults like to buy new fashion

wears

Fix the agreement mistake

wear

show examples

and want to go with the trend

beacause

Correct your spelling

because

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

usage of social media. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

about its pros and cons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, in today's world students spend most of their

time

Use synonyms

in schools, colleges and

Linking Words

then

Rephrase

apply

show examples

universities, so they find very

less

Correct word choice

little

show examples

time

Use synonyms

to do any extra-curricular

Use synonyms

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

. Shopping can serve as a source of

activity

Use synonyms

in which they can learn how to buy things

Change the punctuation

show examples

How to deal with different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of people

Change the punctuation

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, adults learn how to manage their finances and shop stuff that they like. By

shopping

Add a comma

shopping,

show examples

they move in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and learn about different fashion trends.

Secondly

Linking Words

, in schools and

colleges

Add a comma

colleges,

show examples

students have a lot of pressure to get good grades as

compeition

Correct your spelling

competition

among the students

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing day by day.

As a result

Linking Words

, they find no

time

Use synonyms

to spend with friends, relatives and family. In that way, during

shopping

Add a comma

shopping,

show examples

they can not only spend quality

time

Use synonyms

with their loved ones but can

also

Linking Words

feel relaxed and

stress free

Add a hyphen

stress-free

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, several young girls like to

Correct your spelling

show examples

shopping with their friends and it gives them immense pleasure.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

shopping is a good form of

activity

Use synonyms

for the youth. It has its own consequences like children can spend more

time

Use synonyms

, waste money on useless stuff, and their urge to buy new stuff but it can be combated by guiding them.

Submitted by tayyabkhalid99 on Sat Mar 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay touches upon some relevant points, but it lacks depth and detailed analysis. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging.

task response

The essay partially responds to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for shopping as a leisure activity and its positive/negative impact. However, the response lacks thorough exploration and analysis of the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
material possession
social experience
disposable income
tech-savvy
convenience
fashion trends
overconsumption
economic stimulation
retail industry
materialism
debt
consumer spending
browsing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is common for community to believe that the advent of technology is eliminating the main functions of traditional libraries. Although I accept that the development of automation has a lot of influence on people's reading habits, I disagree with the idea that these could replace public libraries.
7.5
band
Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both veiw and give your opinion.
It is often believed that printed books are not needed as they are replaced by digital ones but some people are pessimistic about this. I partially disagree with this, for printed materials are still important for those who are not able to use technology regardless of the growing convenience of electric books.
8
band
some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos games and other types of entertainments for children's leisure. how does this affect children. How do you think the problem can be tackled?
Recently, the growing malicious practice in leisure activities, particularly TV and video games, has worried adults. I believe it can influence how younger people behave; therefore, the old have to limit the inappropriate content to tackle this issue.
4.5
band
Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Main subjects in university are the most important for students whereas other students think they must study different subjects and they don’t need to expend time to do another subjectsubjects,in this essay I discuss both views and then I give my opinion.
6.5
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter, explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work
I trust this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to express my keen interest in volunteering at the museum. The significance of museums transcends any era as they offer valuable insights into the history of mankind and showcase precious antiquities.

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree?

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both veiw and give your opinion.

some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos games and other types of entertainments for children's leisure. how does this affect children. How do you think the problem can be tackled?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.