In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

These days, the theme of
Educational
Correct article usage
the Educational
show examples
System is one of the most important concerning the political systems and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In some parts of the world is believed that children must start
school
when they are six.
On the other hand
, in other
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
it is thought that
school
for them should start at seven or even eight years old. In
this
essay I will discuss
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two main points of view and why I strongly agree that minors have to start
school
when they are four or even before. In some
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
show examples
Nation
Add a comma
,Nation
show examples
kids start going to
school
at the age of 4 to kindergarten.
This
is a significant moment in a children’s life. Kids have to be allowed to socialize,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do activities with their peers and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be followed by professional figures. Indeed, in these
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
there is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
crucial attention
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the educational system and on what is better for their little citizens. A lot of research, conducted by Italian and American Universities confirmed that kids who started
school
before five years old, performed better
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
primary
school
and even
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
High
School
, especially in scientific subjects.
However
, in other
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
preschools because children start the educational program only at seven years old. It is believed
that is
not important for a child
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
special activities based on the age and stages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human development. For these governments and these parents maintaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
close contact
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
the family and
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
the child play as much as possible is the most important thing. Honestly, I totally disagree with
this
point of view because
this
contact should be equally divided between family and
school
. It is better to start as soon as possible
school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when all the kids’ neurons
stars
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
to expand, but without experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
social ability and concrete
relations
Add a comma
,relations
show examples
the process stops.
To conclude
, around the world there are different opinions about the
school
system and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I discussed two crucial views and explained my idea on the theme.
Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: